(10/18/05 4:00am)
To the Editor:As a male student at Brandeis, I take exception to many of the tenets of typicality set forth in Ilya Sobol's '08 Forum article. I am not offended by this piece as much as I am surprised by it.Ignoring the assumptions laid out in the title that there is a "typical college guy" and that this archetypal figure finds his motivation solely in a quest for sex, this stereotype does not hold, especially at Brandeis.What troubles me more is a set of norms that this article perpetuates. First, that every Friday begins with drinking and then proceeds to a party. Brandeis and the greater Boston area hold a myriad of cultural, artistic and social events each weekend. To limit oneself to "pre-gaming" and partying is a limited, and, in my experience, atypical state of mind for a Brandeis student. I take exception to the suggestion that an evening cannot be successful without sex. Ignoring the fact that Sobol mentions only heterosexual intercourse in his article, the argument still holds numerous flaws. Most importantly, it suggests that an evening of dancing, theater, spending time with friends, or (God forbid!) homework cannot satisfy a "typical college guy." To suggest this is an unfair (and ridiculous) generalization, and it does not do justice to the Brandeis community.The scariest element of this article is the portrayal of women, whom Sobol depicts as objects. This suggests that they serve at best as achievements for male students and at worst as their victims. The metaphor of sexual conquest as a game takes on dangerous undertones in this context, as this game takes place not between equal competitors or teammates, but rather between one player and a hapless target.This article perpetuates dangerous social norms. Though it contains a few humorous elements, it does not satisfy the reader as a satire. There is no shift in tone from the reasonable to the unreasonable. The author excuses the acts he outlines as necessary social rituals. He comes off as an apologist rather than a satirist. Although this may be the worldview of some, it hardly suffices to describe the "typical" male experience, the existence of which is debatable anyway. -Josh Gondelman ' 07
(10/18/05 4:00am)
To the Editor:This is the story of Brandeis on-campus life and quite frankly it's nothing short of pathetic. In the last issue of The Justice an article was published (Ilya Sobol's '08 Forum article, "In the eye of the typical college guy, it all boils down to sex") essentially giving an elaborate description of how the average college guy's night "wasn't worth it" if he didn't wake up in the morning next to that random girl. Quite frankly, it's a hilarious look into reality for quite a few guys between the arbitrary ages of say, 17 and 25. Then again, it is somehow apparently degrading to women, though the joke is clearly on the men who are being portrayed as the Shallow Hal's or Wedding Crasher's of society-none-the-less by a fellow boy!I must say, thank God I live off campus. I feel almost as if I was driven off because it is simply impossible to live in peace at Brandeis. Why, you ask? Well I'm here to tell you. It's simply because people have absolutely nothing better do to than sit around waiting for the next silly comment or Justice article to blow up at. I mean, come on, it's obviously all the girls who aren't getting laid that are offended, but they are clearly the ones who are too uptight to ever have fun regardless! Most guys are cracking up saying, "Well, it may be an exaggeration, but it's still pretty humorous to read." Brandeis is a school of two very distinct types of people and what I'm about to say flies in the face of everything I've ever said about Brandeis before. Those two groups are the "Sheltered Prudes" and then we have the "Hippies." Sadly, in this most recent case of The Justice simply doing its job and printing a student written piece for the Forum I must side with the hippies, something I never ever do. The moral of the story: Dudes, chill out. Go to Chums, have your pseudo-intellectual rants about how terrible the article was and go back to your lonely lives of making love to books. Sometimes that whole "tolerance and free speech" stuff we supposedly champion at Brandeis means hearing what you don't want to. Yah, you heard me and you read me-and you probably wish you hadn't by this point-but you did and now you've been tolerant. So shut up. C'est la vie.-Jason D. Levine '06
(10/18/05 4:00am)
A forum discussion and a guest lecture by the former Miss Rhode Island last week examined the mental well-being of college students as part of Mental Health Awareness Week. Both events were sponsored by the Active Minds at Brandeis club.Approximately a dozen students gathered last Monday night for an open discussion with Brandeis psychologist Roberta Caplan and Assistant Dean of Student Life Alwina Bennett. The forum focused its conversation on potential warning signs and contributing factors to student depression.Active Minds member Mary Schillinger '07 said the group discussed many issues that can cause personal depression. These included "cultural trends of our own society, as well as who to turn to when dealing with it," she said.Schillinger, who has dealt with depression herself, said the group discussed several "red flags" such as online journal entries that can often reveal an individual's "heart and soul." Bentley graduate and 2004 Miss Rhode Island Aimee Belisle spoke Tuesday evening about her personal experiences battling depression during her college years.While stressing that she was not advocating the use of any one specific type of treatment over another, Belisle emphasized the importance of seeking some form of outside help for depression. She said that college students in particular should take advantage of the resources available on university campuses. "My friend had to literally force me to go to the counseling services center to make an appointment with a therapist," she recalled. "I physically resisted him. But I'm glad he made me go."Belisle told the story of her own personal struggle with depression. After a friend urged her to consult a therapist during her junior year, Belisle was prescribed medication and began attending behavioral therapy sessions on a regular basis. She said these treatments helped to clear what she described as the mental "fog" brought on by her condition.While she noticed a change after the first two weeks of medication, Belisle said that her therapy had a more gradual effect. During sessions with her therapist, she learned important techniques for recognizing and avoiding destructive behavior and thoughts. For example, Belisle said, she and her therapist brainstormed ways to channel her negative thoughts and feelings into safe, healthy actions. When she felt the urge to cut herself, she would often scribble on a piece of paper instead.Belisle said she felt strongly that depression is a problem that can be overcome."You can be successful and fulfill all your dreams despite having a mental illness," she said. "You just have to acknowledge what you have and work on it."Julie Totten, president and founder of advocacy group Families for Depression Awareness, attended the event and spoke briefly before Belisle did. Totten's organization promotes education and discussion of issues concerning mental illness. Having founded the group after losing her brother to suicide, Totten said she hopes that by raising awareness of depression among young people, "this generation can break through the shell of stigma.
(10/11/05 4:00am)
Well clearly this is offensive. I beg to differ. Clearly it is not...This is the story of Brandeis on-campus life and quite frankly it's nothing short of pathetic. In the last issue of The Justice an article was published essentially giving an elaborate description of how the average college guy's night "wasn't worth it" if he didn't wake up in the morning next to that random girl. Quite frankly, it's a hilarious look into reality for quite a few guys between the arbitrary ages of say, 17 and 25. Then again, it is somehow apparently degrading to women, though the joke is clearly on the men who are being portrayed as the Shallow Hal's or Wedding Crasher's of society - none-the-less BY A FELLOW BOY!I must say, thank God I live off campus. I feel almost as if I was driven off because it is simply impossible to live in peace at Brandeis. Why, you ask? Well I'm here to tell you. It's simply because have absolutely nothing better do to than sit around waiting for the next silly comment or Justice article to blow up at. I mean, come on, it's obviously all the girls who aren't getting laid that are offended, but they are clearly the one's who are too up tight to ever have fun regardless! Most guys are cracking up saying, "Well, it may be an exaggeration, but it's still pretty humerous to read." Brandeis is a school of two very distinct types of people and what I'm about to say flies in the face of everything I've ever said about Brandeis before. Those two groups are the "Sheltered Prudes" and then we have the "Hippies." Sadly, in this most recent case of The Justice simply doing its job and printing a student written piece for the Forum I must side with the hippies, something I NEVER EVER do. The moral of the story: Dudes, chill out. Go to Chums, have your pseudo-intellectual rants about how terrible the article was and go back to your lonely lives of making love to books. Sometimes that whole "tolerance and free speech" stuff we supposedly champion at Brandeis means hearing what you don't want you. Yah, you heard me and you read me - and you probably wish you hadn't by this point - but you did and now you've been tolerant. So shut up. C'est la vie.Jason D. Levine '06
(09/27/05 4:00am)
Members of the Brandeis Israel Political Action Coalition (BIPAC) organized several campaign events in Somerville Thursday and Sunday in an effort to combat a petition that would force the city to liquidate any investments in Israel Bonds or companies that do business with Israel.BIPAC President Jacob Baime '08 said the group made the trips in response to a petition being circulated by the Somerville Divestment Project (SDP). The divestment group sought to obtain 4,000 signatures before a Monday deadline to add its divestment initiative to the town ballot in the November elections. At press time, it was unclear whether the necessary signatures had been collected or whether an appeals court would uphold the legality of the petition."We as Brandeis students are thrilled to do our part in this campaign," Baime said. "This is happening in our own backyard, and we feel a responsibility to take action."About half a dozen Brandeis students stood in the streets of Somerville Thursday and Sunday and conducted a phone drive in an effort to persuade Somerville residents to withhold support for SDP's campaign. Baime said BIPAC hopes to send several activists to Somerville today, when thousands of residents will be going to the polls to vote in a special election for their state senator.Divestment first became an issue in Somerville last spring, when a resolution to divest the city's $1.4 million in Israeli assets was defeated 10-0-1 by the city council. SDP then began a new effort to have a divestment initiative placed on the ballot for elections next November. The Somerville Coalition for Middle East Peace challenged the legality of SDP's petition, arguing that it was one-sided and improperly formatted under Massachusetts law, and a judge upheld the Coalition's argument Thursday, allowing the city to throw out the petitions. An appeal of the decision is pending and the SDP has continued its signature-collection campaign.SDP argues in its mission statement that Israel has committed human rights violations against the Palestinian people. The document draws comparisons between Israel and apartheid South Africa, whose regime crumbled after a successful global divestment campaign in the late 1980s. According to the statement, the group "believe[s] that the residents of Somerville will be on the right side of history and will not allow funds to be connected to gross violations of international law, and racist policies against Palestinians."A member of the Somerville Coalition strongly rejected these arguments, saying that "the people of Somerville want to be more engaged in the region, not less, in terms of municipal investments ... [divestment] sends the wrong message at the wrong time. It's unbalanced, one sided and not constructive for peace."For BIPAC member Alex Fineburg '08, who traveled to Somerville on Thursday to distribute fliers at a local train stop and make phone calls to families in the area, the trips were an opportunity to "give [Somerville residents] information, ask for their support and get polling information.""I genuinely felt our efforts were successful when people stopped to ask us questions about what was going on," Fineburg said. "Having an open dialogue about what was going on was the most rewarding aspect of the engagement."Fineburg said the students found the climate civil and respectful for most of the evening, with the exception of an elderly man who Fineburg said became enraged when told why the group was there. When Fineburg attempted to engage the man in discussion, he reportedly began to scream condemnations of Jews and of Israel.Despite this encounter, students said they felt the experience was a positive one. The member of the Somerville Coalition had nothing but praise for the Brandeis volunteers."Students from Brandeis were extremely helpful," he said. "They did a terrific job, were enthusiastic and highly valuable to the campaign."Another divestment debate sparked a campus uproar in March 2004, when Hillel boycotted a public forum on divestment hosted by the Brandeis Debate and Speech Society. The Debate and Speech Society had initially asked Hillel to co-sponsor the event, but Hillel rejected the invitation.Then-Hillel President Rachel Silverman '04 wrote in a letter to the Justice that "debating the idea of divestment from Israel is anti-Semitic in the same way that debating the idea of segregated classrooms is racist.
(09/27/05 4:00am)
Sorry for such a short litany of complaints about Brandeis this week. Terrible troublesome TAsI pay $40,000 to attend Brandeis University. Well, actually, I don't pay $40,000, but my mother does. So it annoys me every so often to hear a self-righteous know-it-all-who goes to classes himself and has yet to achieve anything close to a Master's degree-stand in front of the class and lecture me instead of the highly-trained professor. Our beloved TAs are, for the most part, great people. They work hard like us, they know the pain we go through when it comes to listening to some professors and they want to help us. Some of them are so very nice. But occasionally I get some dud who takes himself so seriously that he actually starts playing the role of "professor." I certainly do not pay $40,000 to have a professor duck out of his responsibilities and put in his place a guy who thinks he is the cutest thing since Katie Holmes. I would rather stick a professor in front of me and watch him sleep, drink booze or tell World War II stories in a physics class then have some macho TA lecturer who acts like he knows what he is talking about when I hired the professor, not him, to do just that! You all know what I am talking about. You always have that TA who grades you really harshly and makes snide comments, while on the other side of the room sits the TA who gives his group of students brownies, big hugs and A+ on their papers. In most cases I get the bad end of the stick. It's the story of my life. What can I say? Asinine Aramark additionsIf you guys have not noticed, the health brigade at Brandeis has put up signs in Sherman just to make us feel guilty. You can see signs like "Have some lean turkey today" or "Eat salad: It's fast, it's healthy, it's delicious!" I am at college. I don't eat healthily. I don't have time to eat healthy, eating healthy tastes terrible, and because it tastes terrible I don't want to eat healthy. OK?But worse than this is the choice of music put on by our beloved Sherman manager Aaron. He is a darling of a man who takes his job very seriously. He could do a little something with that moustache of his, but that's unnecessary.Anyway, Aaron financed a new stereo system in Sherman, which, in theory, would work magic. You could have a Mexican-themed night or a chilled-out smooth jazz night or-my favorite-a Barry Manilow tribute. But instead, the pigs at Aramark have decided to play either blaring hiphop or this awful music played by complete and utter tools. Message to my dear friend: Change the music or find a new customer! Or, in case that you don't change the music, Aaron, can I least have the next dance?
(09/20/05 4:00am)
I believe in intelligent design, the theory that an intelligent (or godly) being contributed to the creation of the universe. Eighty-four percent of contributors to a Beliefnet poll also agree with me, proving this belief is far from rare. A Pew Forum poll found that two-thirds of the American people also support the teaching of intelligent design or other forms of creationism in science classes along with evolution. While I am a believer in intelligent design, I am also a strong supporter of the separation of church and state. Efforts to bring religion and creationism into classrooms have existed for hundreds of years. The American people still haven't reached an understanding of what this entails. I believe it is perfectly acceptable to teach creationism in history classes and, of course, in comparative religion classes-that is its proper place. The debate has become whether creationist theories are regarded as purely faith, even by the theories' proponents, or if these beliefs are proclaimed to be science. Scientific creationism and intelligent design build on evolution and then attempt to explain its faults. Some believers extend the level of intelligent or divine intervention to the start of life, or all throughout the evolution process. The debate has come along way from the Scopes "Monkey" Trial, when teaching evolution was illegal, but scientific creationists still claim that they have a constitutional right to have their beliefs taught. The focus has become equal time for differing ideas, not the reason for their differences. The fundamental component of creationism or intelligent design is the role of a divine being; empirical evidence may not be able to refute these theories, but it does not explicitly prove them. The issue remains one of faith, relying on a personal trust that something unexplainable is the cause. The point of teaching evolution is not to discredit creationism or intelligent design, or to dissuade those who believe in these theories; the aim is to educate all students about the theory of evolution supported by scientists and proven through research and analysis. It is important not to teach evolution dogmatically, but to make it clear that there are many instances of evidence supporting it.The focus of the controversy centers around public high school science classes, because of constitutionality issues with religion and state sponsored institutions. Out of curiosity I looked at some college biology sites and I was surprised to find that some institutes of higher education discredit, or at least question, the theory of evolution. While private institutions have no constraints on what they teach, I was under the incorrect impression that even religious private schools would be embracing evolution.Conservative and religious schools such as Grove City College and Brigham Young University had no overt emphasis promoting creationist theories. However, Wheaton College quotes Genesis 1:1, "In the beginning God created the heaven and the Earth," at the top of its biology page; Bob Jones University has links for "The Christian Teaching of Science" and "BJU and Creationism" as related resources. Even Yeshiva University, known for a "cynical indifference" toward secular subjects (according a US News and World Report article), has an evolution class which looks mostly at evolution for its historical and social significance, rather than its validity as a scientific theory. Brandeis, like government, is without an established religion or restrictions on personal religious choices. Despite a strong religious community and the University's ties to religion, Brandeis has classes in all forms of hard sciences, including evolutionary biology. Religion classes discuss creationism in the religious sense, and social science classes discuss the significance of the debate on society, but evolution never stopped being a hard science. One may believe in God, in science, in the Flying Spaghetti Monster, or all three, but there is a proper place and time to address each of these differing views.
(09/13/05 4:00am)
The faculty voted to support the exclusive sale of fair trade coffee products on campus by an overwhelming majority of 54-3-7 at a faculty meeting on Thursday.Aramark's Director of Dining Services Barbara Laverdiere said she had not been notified of the faculty poll until the Justice contacted her. She said in an e-mail that Aramark was in the process of evaluating what changes would need to be made to dining services in order to sell fair trade coffee.The vote was initiated by Prof. Gordon Fellman (SOC) at the urging of the Fair Trade Brigade and with the support of the Student Union."I think it's a great student initiative," Fellman said. "It's a way to address the unjust incomes of people in the third world whose needs are classically ignored."Prof. Carmen Sirianni (SOC) told the Justice that all the professors from the economics department, even those interested in social justice, chose to abstain. He suggested that a forum or group comprised of students, administrators and faculty, including economics professors, might better resolve the issue."I'd like to see a more open, democratic, informed, deliberative process than what happened at yesterday's faculty meeting," he said the following day.Prof. Rachel McCulloch (ECON), who identified herself as one of the abstaining professors, compared fair trade products to organic products, which are also a higher costing consumer choice."Despite the similarity of the terms, and the fact that coffee is traded internationally, this is not about free trade," she said.McCulloch said that her concern is not with fair trade's violation of free trade principles, but with allowing consumers the choice to pay more for products produced under certain conditions."The issue here is whether the choice should be made collectively or individually, i.e., whether both products should be offered or just one," McCulloch said.Lauren Abramowitz '07, director of the Free Trade Brigade, said the Brigade expected economist opposition because fair trade runs counter to the principles of a free trade economy. She said that she respectfully disagrees with that opinion, and that rather than being "anti-free trade," the Brigade's mission is to educate the campus on the principles of fair trade."[Fair trade] makes a much bigger difference to workers in the long run than free trade makes to those who are already wealthy," Abramowitz said.In the Student Union elections last March, the Brigade asked students whether they would pay 20 more cents to ensure that their coffee was "fair trade." Roughly 80 percent of voting students chose to "strongly agree."Since then, the Student Union has collaborated with the Brigade to eliminate non-fair trade coffee at Java City locations.
(09/13/05 4:00am)
There was always a backup plan for the Ridgewood cottages: Sell them.That's what the University's early investors planned to do if the ambitious venture failed. They probably couldn't imagine that the cottages would last to house over 5,000 students since they were built in 1950.But now, over 50 years later, there's another plan for the Ridgewood cottages: Tear them down.As soon as the necessary millions are raised and the Board of Trustees approves the project, the University will do just that: demolish the 106-bed Ridgewood residence quad and replace it with a 300-person apartment-style residence for upperclassmen, according to Director of Residence Life Maggie Balch.But the biggest question about the project-when construction will begin-still remains.Though Balch told the Justice she did not know when construction will commence, according to Dan Feldman, the associate vice president of planning, design and construction, the new hall could be complete within three years of the time funds for the project are available and the Board of Trustees gives its approval. According to Feldman, the University has planned for a total of $20 million in new long-term debt and $15 million in gifts to fund the new housing structure. Feldman would not disclose how much has been raised so far, but said that the "funds would have to be either in hand or pledged before the Board would approve start of the construction."But Feldman added that construction of the new Ridgewood is a top priority."The University's strategic plan for undergraduate housing calls for fully meeting the demand for on-campus housing," Feldman said. The Office of Capital Projects has determined that demand can be met with enough beds for 90 percent of undergraduates on campus, according to the Web site. Currently, only 80 percent of undergraduates reside on campus, according to Senator for the Class of 2007 Joshua Karpoff.Though current undergraduate enrollment exceeds 2001's target of 3,000 students by at least 185, Balch said such increases will not affect the school's original goal.However, that goal will be unattainable at least temporarily after the demolition of the Ridgewood cottages and before the completion of its larger replacement.Balch acknowledged that without Ridgewood's 106 beds, the housing lottery during that period could create problems for upperclassmen, but she said she is committed to finding the best housing solutions once construction on Ridgewood is underway. Depending on the sizes of the other classes, she said, it might be possible to house some juniors and seniors in East Quad or the Castle."We can reconfigure things so we can maximize the amount of space" available for students, she said.Balch met with several students and Feldman over the summer to discuss how the new Ridgewood should be configured. "They have said they want kitchens," she said, because by junior year, students do not want to be on the meal plan. In the past, the University has not permitted students who do not have ready access to a kitchen to go without a meal plan.Karpoff hopes the new housing resembles the suite-style living in Ziv Quad, but added that he agreed with Balch that kitchens are important. "One of the reasons people love living at Ridgewood is because it offers an alternative to the meal plan," he said.He said students should talk to the Housing Advisory Committee of the Student Union to give their input on the housing plan. Sam Siegel, a senator for the Class of 2007, suggested that Residence Life distribute a survey to the entire student body in order to obtain input on the project.He added that the University should "ask a few members of the Board [of Trustees] to attend an open forum where they can hear directly from students the ideas, complaints and suggestions that we all have." The school's strategic housing plan has been in development since 1999, according to the Office of Capital Projects' Web site. The plan included the building of the $21 million Village, which was completed in August 2003.Between summer 1999 and spring 2005, the University completed 11 other infrastructure improvement projects which had a total cost of $57 million. Among them was the construction of the $25 million Shapiro Campus Center, the $8 million International Business School Lemberg Academic Center and the $5 million Abraham Shapiro Academic Complex.
(09/13/05 4:00am)
The past week has been very difficult for me. On the same week that random Communists called Bush a "mass murderer" and a Justice columnist wrote a piece bafflingly entitled "Wearing my cousin's blood on my hands," a select group of people made it very clear that they did not appreciate my most recent column.I mocked the Orientation Leaders though I am a loser and joked about the freshman girls though I have no love life. I also lack a certain... what shall we call it?.... oh yes, a mastery of social skills. The day after my "controversial" article was published, the senior girls decided to burn an effigy of me and the Orientation Leaders protested in front of my dorm room, while at the same time, perkily welcoming new freshmen with hugs, kisses, and early Valentine's Day cards. (PC Alert: This didn't actually happen. For those people who think I am serious, I am not.)If I offended some of you with my article, good. That means I'm doing my job. We're at college. Everyone has an opinion on everything, and if you took me seriously, the laugh is on you. Also, as hard as it is to believe, I love Brandeis. (Tears.) And all I wanted for Hanukkah was for all of you to love me. Let's be extra peppy, just like our beloved OLs! Please?WATCH THE FRESHMEN GET LOST, HA HA HA.The desperate look on freshmen faces searching for classes is a pretty normal sight. Some would be compelled to help these new ones who are not so adept in Brandeisian ways. Instead, I stared in glee and settled in my cozy and relaxing lawnchair, sipping lemonade, sunglasses on, all set to watch for the funniest piece of comedy I have seen in a long time. Why help people when you can get a good laugh in the process? Imagine the scene: a geeky boy with a ton of books in his hands, glasses on, sweating, worrying about getting to class on time, his mom on the other line yelling about whether he changed his underwear that morning. And people call me a selfish jerk!IF ONLY I COULD BLAME JEHUDA FOR STUFF.This week, the Communist Party of America spread misinformation on the campus, blaming President George W. Bush for his response to the Hurricane disaster in New Orleans. While I think it is perfectly fair to attack the administration for some of its reaction to the situation, most people would probably agree that to call Bush a "mass murderer" and a "racist using modern-day slave ships," who purposefully trapped thousands of people in their homes, is not really reasonable. Instead, I have decided to blame someone a little closer to home for my problems. That's right, Jehuda, you are to blame for all my woes. I blame Jehuda Reinharz for these incidents:The time I got picked on in fifth grade for wearing a pink shirt to school.Not having a life and therefore having nothing better to do than write about my social awkwardness in the Justice all the time.My lacking love life.The time I peed on the school room floor in my second grade class because I was too afraid to use the bathroom.Every major disaster since the inception of Man.MY MOM IS THE ONLY ONE WHO LOVES ME."Hoishal! This is your mother speaking. I hear people don't like my Hoishal. I have to admit, you were an idiot to write that. You know how sensitive people are. But, I still love you. Shouldn't that be enough?" If it only it were, Mom, if it only it were.
(09/06/05 4:00am)
With the new class coming in, I wanted to share with these young darlings, these impressionable few, the new socially awkward batch of Brandeisians, my feelings on their moving in. At the same time, I will, in my fatherly way, share some advice to help them through their first year through college.Orientation leaders are scary, and not your friends.When I moved into school, my first impression of Brandeis was far from impressive. As my father drove up to my dorm room, we were greeted by an overly excited, peppy, chubby and wound-up Brandeis orientation leader. That totally freaked me out, and I know it freaked you freshmen out, too. The last thing I need to see when I arrive at a school where I know nobody is to already feel awkward with someone who acts like they are my friend. I felt like saying, "I am not your friend. Don't touch me!" I know you felt this way, too.And, by the way, for those people who get overly excited about this school, what exactly do we have to be proud of? I remember on my first day seeing two people along with our mascot cheering on the fighting Judges. My parents just drove up the hill, gleefully saying, "Oh well, isn't that cute?" It was cute, all right. All I did was imagine the possibilities of the owl being in one of those teenage movie spoofs, cheering really loudly, and then, bam!, getting hit over the head by really annoyed incoming freshmen. I chuckled for a second then. It was the first time I smiled at Brandeis. And I haven't smiled since...The move-in experience ended in a somber moment. It was the first time my father and I hugged each other. I remember it vividly. He was crying because I was leaving and I was crying, begging him, "Please don't let me stay here. Everyone is either on drugs or belongs in an asylum!" Never let me meet the freshmen on their first day.I think the Orientation Leaders give off this impression of a rolling utopia, where everyone gets along, there's no awkwardness, and other loads of horse manure. If I were an Orientation Leader, I would be frank with these people, "Listen. You need to understand something. This is Brandeis. Nothing is exactly as it should be. The frats are not real frats, and the people are not real people (after all, half of the students have been beamed down from some alien planet somewhere near Klingon). Believe me, you'll hate it here. I am not bitter. It's just the truth." But now you know why I never was allowed to be an Orientation Leader.Hot freshmen are scarier. I wish they were my friends.Freshman, we upperclass guys have a confession to make: most of us, including myself, are really socially awkward. But we were even more socially awkward because we had a new phenomenon on our hands at Brandeis this past week.The new, incoming freshman class was actually, well, good-looking. You know, they were hot. It was weird for us. We did not know how to deal with it.For me, no matter how good-looking the girls were, I still would not have the courage to talk to one of them. I have many girl problems. Believe me, not only do you know, but so do my two psychiatrists, my social worker "friend" named Betsy, my 11-year-old campers from this past summer and, most importantly, my mother. It's same for the rest of the Brandeis males on campus; we did not know how to quite deal with it. Some of us stared at the girls. Some of us drooled. Some of us stared at walls, in total and utter amazement. Some of us talked to ourselves. (Well, at Brandeis, talking to one's self is still a national pastime, but you get the idea. We were off-the-wall, wondering what had happened.) It will just take some time. We need to adjust to the new Brandeis reality of beautiful girls. So while we speak to our "friends" at the Mailman Psychological Counseling Center for the last time, goodbye Bea Arthur, hello Katie Holmes! My mom needs to accept that I'm a drug addict."Hoishal! How are the freshmen doing? Are they having a rough time like you did your freshman year? I remember how you cried on the phone to me, saying how you missed me. Those were the days when you loved me. Now, all you like to do, is party hard, drink, and do your drugs! What happened to the son that I raised?"He went to Brandeis.
(05/24/05 4:00am)
I hate goodbyes. I hate them so much that I even considered not writing this farewell column. There is too much pressure to say exactly the right words. This column should be my magnum opus, but after four years of writing columns, I doubt that will be the case. For the first time, I'm not starting with a clear-cut idea; I do not have an issue I feel strongly enough about to rant, nor do I have a dazzling personal experience to retell. All I have is a stream of memories from the past four years and an uncertainty about the future. I thought I was ready to graduate. Despite advice to stay in college forever from many of my older friends who have already entered the "real world," I was excited to move on to bigger and better things. But as the day quickly approached I began to get scared. I don't think I'm as ready as I once thought I would be. The feeling is eerily similar to the feeling I had almost four years ago as I entered my first-year dorm for the first time.It is amazing how quickly you develop a sense of comfort. Four years ago, Brandeis seemed intimidating; now it is a bastion of comfort and familiarity. Unlike my experience arriving at Brandeis, in the real world I will have no orientation other than a landlord asking for my rent check and my boss telling me what needs to be done. I will not have the luxury of waking up for my first class at 11 a.m. or going out until 3 a.m. on a Wednesday night. But as apprehensive as I am about making this transition, part of me is also excited to see what will come next. While studying abroad last year, I realized that the best piece of advice I could give to anyone going overseas would be to make yourself uncomfortable. It was the moments I felt most uncomfortable that I ended up benefiting from the most. It was the situations I dreaded that are now my favorite stories to tell.I give myself the same advice for next year. I feel lucky to have the opportunity to start anew, even though it will inevitably be a period of some discomfort and adjustment. We benefit from the fact that we do not remain stagnant. We must move on.One of my favorite movies, L'auberge Espagnole, is about a French college student who decides to spend a year in Barcelona after graduation. Upon arriving in his new home, he comments, "When you first arrive in a new city, nothing makes sense. Everything's unknown, virgin ... After you've lived here, walked these streets, you'll know them inside out. You'll know these people. Once you've lived here, crossed this street 10, 20, 1000 times ... it'll belong to you because you've lived there. That was about to happen to me, but I didn't know it yet." Four years ago I had no context in with which to understand this quote. But now I do; the Brandeis campus and the streets around my apartment in Paris became homes to me. I was able to translate my initial fear into two of the best experiences of my life. With this in mind, it is comforting to know that despite my initial discomfort next year, it will eventually fade into what will hopefully be another great experience. Now that I've realized this, I'm excited to walk down the streets where "nothing makes sense." Hopefully, I will be able to profit from this fear and eventually the unknown streets will belong to me just like Brandeis does now.Samantha Slater '05 is a former Justice forum editor.
(04/19/05 4:00am)
A crowd of about 50 students and faculty attended the dedication of the new Asper Suite for entrepreneurial studies on Wednesday. The suite was inaugurated with a series of lectures addressing the emerging role of entrepreneurship in today's business world.The lectures, part of the second annual Asper Forum on Global Entrepreneurship hosted by the International Business School, brought Leonard Asper '86, the CEO of CanWest Global Communications, and David Saperstein, the CEO of Five S Capital.IBS dean Peter Petri spoke about the importance of the new suite and its role in encouraging entrepreneurship on the Brandeis campus. "We're dedicating [this suite] to create a place where students and faculty can celebrate the act of entrepreneurship at Brandeis," Petri said. "This is a space that is making a big difference to Brandeis, the United States and the world."Asper, who currently heads Canada's largest media company, spoke about the connection between entrepreneurship, marketing and the media, emphasizing the perseverance and dedication necessary to succeed."The best entrepreneurs just don't get how bad it is," he said. "They're eternal optimists-they just keep trying."Asper also spoke about the general nature of entrepreneurship and the difficulties it presents in keeping with emerging trends in the business world."You can't keep up with all people, especially in the media," Asper said. "You're never going to have all the good ideas. You have to catch them." The forum highlighted the importance of the connection between Brandeis and its alumni."We have such strong alumni that can come back and give to the community," IBS student Debbie Stewart '05 said. "It's a great opportunity."Asper's speech was followed by a ribbon-cutting ceremony where guests sipped champagne and nibbled on chocolate fondue.Saperstein, who founded the Houston-based Five S Capital, discussed his own business achievements.Saperstein began enterprises in several industries, including automobiles, publishing, cosmetics and the container-tree business.He said that the common factor that these industries share is that they are "off everybody's radar screen" and "not glamorous," making them unique and easy to initiate.Saperstein likened the business to baseball in that though failures exist, "the home runs have been great."He said his businesses succeeded because he strove to personally connect with ordinary employees, who are the "number one asset" of any business.Saperstein also said that business is a straightforward process that should not be perceived as difficult."I never saw business as being complicated," he said.
(04/19/05 4:00am)
In the recent Student Union election, an amendment passed to establish the task force known as AMP as a permanent committee. The task force, whose initials stand for "A More Perfect," was created last month.The committee, which will be impaneled every four years, is now described in the Union constitution as a "task force charged with conducting a full review of all aspects of [the Union], including the operation of clubs, secured organizations, and Union government."Composed of Union officers, club leaders and Assistant Dean of Student Life Alwina Bennett, the committee proposed the amendment to gain autonomy from oversight by the Union Senate."[This committee] came together at the instigation of the student government but the committee is beyond the student government; it tries to represent all students," Bennett said.Lisa Kim '06, one of AMP's two directors, said the committee has been gathering feedback from the community on Union operations, club funding and management, event planning and secured organizations. Kim said the task force interviewed various student organizations to evaluate the constructive as well as the crippling aspects of the Student Union constitution.According to Bennett, the task force must decide standards for which organizations are worthy of student activities funds, an issue that requires a distinction between "genuine interest groups" and "hobbies."She said that among the current set-up's flaws is that it allows for certain clubs to receive more money than they need at the expense of others. Bennett referred to the chartered ballroom dance team, which received $13,000 from the Finance Board last year but had only 20 dancers, as an example.The committee will also focus on the money allocated to the campus' secured organizations. These seven groups-Brandeis Television, Archon, the Justice, WBRS, Student Events, the Waltham Group and the Brandeis Emergency Medical Corps -receive a guaranteed percentage of student activities funds each academic year as mandated by the Union constitution.AMP includes representatives from 11 campus organizations including the Intercultural Center, club sports teams, chartered clubs, secured organizations and the Union government.The amendment will be formally enacted in the fall, when Union President Jenny Feinberg '07 will appoint three alumni, two "members at large"-whom Feinberg describes as individuals not affiliated with the senate or secured groups-as well as one community adviser.According to Bennett, the task force has focused on gathering feedback from different campus organizations as well as from senators and the Finance Board."We've been trying to identify what the issues are and what problems are facing the student government, what club and organization leaders think are problems, and what the general student body thinks are problems," Bennett said.Senator at Large Donnie Phillips '05, who sits on the committee, said it will have a more defined plan of action in the fall. He said AMP is moving slowly and breaking down tasks to fulfill their "very ambitious goals.""It's impossible to deal with such a big task between March and April, but not between August and March," he said. "We started small and decided how to improve the club system instead of looking at the rules of the senate or finance board."Phillips said the committee aims to propose a finance system geared toward club development and longevity.According to Bennett, one option would be to require a budget proposal from the seven secured organizations at the beginning of each semester.The task force will host a public forum today in Schwartz Auditorium at 7 p.m. to discuss the research and feedback they have collected on Brandeis' club chartering and funding process.
(04/19/05 4:00am)
After waking up from a two-week, drink-induced Brandeis coma, our columnist realizes that quite a bit has changed in his absence. The year is ending, people are exposing skin who shouldn't be and the world is getting ready for Pope Herschel I. I'M RUNNING FOR POPE NEXTI feel like I am the modern version of Rip Van Winkle. I declared the last two weeks full of Brandeis Sundays and Brandeis Saturdays, so I have been locked up in my room and drinking to pass the time. I just found out today that so many things happened during that time. Pope John Paul II died. President Bush is still in office. I was elected senator for the class of 2007. When did all of this happen? And why did the class of 2007 really elect me to be its senator? First off, without commenting on my constituents in a derogatory matter, they are real idiots for electing a moron like me, who feels that the best way to attract girls is to use the Justice as a mouthpiece to discuss my desperation for a girlfriend.This teaches all of us an inspiring lesson. If you want to get things done at Brandeis, do not skip classes and drink for two weeks. Otherwise, you might get stuck with a menial job like Union senator, rather than the job everyone wants. Why should I be a lowly student senator when I could be something bigger and something greater? That's right! I really am shooting for that higher position: the papacy. I think I would be a great supreme pontiff. That whole religious thing might be a problem, but isn't it about time to look past our religious differences? If my mother says I am the greatest gift to this earth that should be enough. To Pope Herschel I!PROFESSORS ARE TEACHING US?Now that the semester is ending, we are all a little more irritable, a little busier and much less inclined to be happy. Of course, I am never busy, irritable or unhappy at Brandeis, because of my constant intake of prescription drugs given to me by my psychiatrist. But what probably still annoys me the most on the days that I forget to take my medication-and as a result forget that I cannot stalk my ex-girlfriend anymore-is those pesky professors who realize two weeks before the semester is over that they actually have to teach us something.I wonder why we even bother going to school for the 10 days that we do every semester. Why don't we just all go to Brandeis for 24 hours and have a 24-hour fiesta where we get everything in one big day? Start the day off with a party, drink until noon, hang out until three, take a nap until 9 p.m. and then at 10 p.m., just after our hangovers subside, the professors of your four classes will finally realize they need to teach something. After four days of this schedule, I would get a degree which, I'm sure, would be a lot more fun than dragging this thing out for four whole years.KEEP YOUR CLOTHES ON, PLEASEIt's springtime again, and the people who should never ever show anything above their knees will show it now. Don't get me wrong. There are some great advantages to warmer weather. The beautiful women of Brandeis University wear clothes that accentuate certain parts of their body that everyone enjoys. But there are people on campus who accentuate certain parts of their body that no one could possibly enjoy. Just imagine Jehuda Reinharz playing basketball in his short shorts with his shirt off. Or me wearing my new-style skirt with summer Uggs, and a fancy tank top. So, my friends, while we enjoy the beauties of spring and watch our University look good for the first time this year because we have guests, do not forget that the dangers of spring are upon us. After all, it is such a danger that I am almost glad that we are freezing ourselves the other nine days we go to school.MAYBE I'LL MISS 'DEIS ... NEVER.No week can go without mentioning what everything in my life comes down to: my dear mother. Responding to the ending of the semester, my mother got so excited that she told me, "Oh, my gosh, Hoishal! You are gonna be home soon! Soon you will be in my arms, where you belong! I remember that when you were born you were a good kid, but now, you need more love than ever."I think it might be the first time that I say this, but if my mother has prepared for me what I think she has prepared for me, then I am going to really miss Brandeis. I am going to miss it so much that I might actually start appreciating it. Will I ever get that desperate? Please. Never.
(04/19/05 4:00am)
Every spring, as the senior class prepares to graduate, the Justice recognizes the accomplishments of its own graduating class-editors whose contributions to this paper will be felt long after their departures. Although none of the following seniors remain on our masthead today, it would be foolish to forget what they brought to these pages.MEREDITH GLANSBERGConstitutional orders of succession typically concern chiefs of state, not editorial positions in student newspapers. But with the resignations of both the editor in chief and senior editor amid that unforgettable tumult of October 2003, the burden of stabilizing the Justice befell Ms. Glansberg, whose strength and composure in the months after won her an Alumni Achievement Award and the eternal gratitude of the newspaper's entire staff. But Ms. Glansberg's accomplishments are not confined merely to picking up the pieces. As advertising editor, she increased the paper's revenue dramatically and rebuilt our client base. She then went on to serve as managing editor and revolutionized that position as the public face of the newspaper to the University at large and an unrelenting advocate of our organizational interests to administrators.Ms. Glansberg, an economics and American studies major from Plymouth, will spend a month after graduation traveling in Europe. She will then move to New York City, where she plans to pursue a career in advertising. MATTHEW BETTINGERMr. Bettinger was a skillful and dedicated editor in chief, but it was on the opinion pages where he left an indelible mark. He was a rhetorical powerhouse whose passion for politics and civics brought maturity and intellectual verve to the space underneath the masthead. And his arguments, always convincing, never dusty, were enriched by his knack for articulating theme-a skill he honed by many years on the high- school debate circuit. A proud New Jerseyite, Mr. Bettinger imbued the paper with an appreciation for geographic regions beyond Massachusetts-and the roads that travel there. As editor in chief, he was always wary of exposing his opinions of hot-button issues that the paper covered. Instead, he used his column, "Drunk on Hysteria," to wax poetic about the expressways and parkways around New York City, such as the Taconic State Parkway which runs through the Hudson Valley.Mr. Bettinger, a politics and history major from Englewood, will cross the Hudson this fall to attend the law school of Fordham University on Manhattan's Upper West Side.REBECCA DREILINGERIn her initial role as a photography editor, Ms. Dreilinger brought a previously unseen level of efficiency to her role in the paper. This attribute, combined with a distinct professional character and level-headedness well beyond her years, made her a fitting successor to Ms. Glansberg as managing editor.Her presence in board meetings will be missed; her ability to keep the board on task and mediate between opposing opinions was invaluable. Always willing to say what she knew would be "unpopular" for the sake of what she believed was right, Ms. Dreilinger embraced the role of kindly authoritarian. Ms. Dreilinger, a Spanish and American studies major from Bethesda, Md, plans to pursue a career in journalism in the Washington D.C. area. ANDREW MEYERSONThis is the second time in as many years that the Justice has bid farewell to Mr. Meyerson, who this year will receive a master's degree in Near Eastern and Judaic studies. This time, however, he really is leaving. Mr. Meyerson will be remembered for his masterful eye-both in photography and picture editing. His distinctive approach even led some readers to coin the term "Meyerson style," after his tilted camera angles which helped animate a lifeless speaker shot, for instance.His proficiency behind the camera and with Adobe Photoshop should not, however, eclipse his diplomatic grace. Mr. Meyerson was, with Ms. Glansberg, a leading figure in rebuilding the paper's reputation after the "Dusty Baker incident." Even our fiercest critics would melt away at the sight of his warm smile.Mr. Meyerson will move to Jordan in July to join the Peace Corps. SAMANTHA SLATERMs. Slater joined the editorial board as forum editor after being one of the section's most consistent columnists. She fulfilled this post in two phases, interrupted by a semester spent in France where she submitted two memorable columns to which the stateside editors eagerly affixed Paris datelines. Last fall, she returned to the Justice armed with the same enthusiasm for editing her section and considerable penchant for wine.Always advocating a nourishing environment for writers, Ms. Slater's patience and kindness in dealing with new staff was an example for as all. Her effervescence and bubbly personality will be missed in the newsroom. Ms. Slater, from Plainview, N.Y., will probably work in Washington D.C. with an Israeli activism organization.YANA LITOVSKYMs. Litovsky is the only editor who will be remembered more for her writing than for her role on the editorial board. Not that she was a lackluster features editor, but it was her sharp prose that earned Ms. Litovsky the most notice. Her film criticisms, along with her regular column, "Culture Vulture," were the best examples of cultural commentary in the Justice that we can remember. And her columns were also the source of much debate-never a bad thing for a section called "Forum."Ms. Litovsky, a psychology and philosophy major, will start her job in the summer as an industrial psychology research assistant at the Harvard Business School. RACHEL KRAMERArguably the best photographer the Justice has had in the past four years, Ms. Kramer brought her artistic sensibilities to picture editing here. Her skillfully composed and stimulating photographs graced countless covers of the arts section, as well as the rest of the paper.Ms. Kramer, an anthropology major, will move to Madagascar where she will enter the Peace Corps. IGOR PEDANNo one can doubt the dedication of one of the paper's more zealous former editors. Mr. Pedan's passion for journalism and his uncanny nose for news made him a valuable asset as a reporter, an editorial assistant and as a news editor. He, along with Ms. Litovsky, was responsible for integrating the news and features staff and formalizing its weekly meetings, increasing the number of staff writers and imparting the editors' enthusiasm to our not-yet-fanatical contributors.Mr. Pedan, a computer science and philosophy major, will pursue a Master's degree in computer science at Brandeis next year.Finally, it would be wrong to leave unmentioned the valued accomplishments of advertising editor Leslie Pazan and business editor Amanda Jacklin. We wish all of these seniors the best of luck and bright futures.
(04/12/05 4:00am)
There's normally a lot to complain about at Brandeis, and this week was no exception. From neighbors' girlfriends to a prolifieration of posters to suspicious-looking flowers, many happenings deserve brief comment.NEW PHONES; THAT'S NICE, BUT WHY NOW?Am I the only one confused about the mandatory telephone switch? One month before we depart for the summer, we have to trade our "outdated" phones for "high-tech" models. I know this sounds awful, but the only people who are going to utilize the zany new features are the techies. I don't see any discernable difference between the telephones, except, of course, that the new one takes up more space on my already-cluttered desk. Besides, wouldn't it be more logical to return the phones before we leave campus this semester and pick up the new ones when we return in the fall?IF THESE UNNERVINGLY THIN WALLS COULD TALKOur culture is obsessed with thinness. I think, however, that even Richard Simmons would agree that there's one thing that should not be thin: walls. I don't know about you, but if I wanted to hear what the people next door were doing, I'd get a stethoscope and eavesdrop on them. I have no desire to hear my neighbors' music, alarm clocks or girlfriends. Contrary to popular belief, posters and photographs do not create an adequate muffler. Could someone please investigate how expensive it would be to add a layer of soundproof padding? That way, we would not be able to hear our neighbors and we would be able to literally bounce off of the walls when we get bored.GIMME A BREAK... BEFORE SCHOOL ENDS?For all the talk about diversity on campus, I get the impression that West Coasters like me are not given fair treatment. The latest example? Spring break (part deux) comes between the end of classes and final exams. If we want to go home for break, we then have to fly back across the continent for the sole purpose of taking tests. It's especially bad for me. I have only two days of exams, so if I go home during the break, only to return from California in time for exams, I will end up spanning the continent three times in two weeks. I would almost prefer it if there were a week of classes before finals, if only to make the trip home worthwhile.YOU WANT MY VOTE? I'LL NEED A SPEECHFor all the problems that people have with the Student Union elections, I am quite surprised that the lack of speeches has never been raised. No one can be a true politician if he or she cannot use demagoguery to convince me of something. OK, so each candidate has their Web site, but who really looks at those? There have been many amendments about reforming the election process, but I cannot see the purpose. Few people actually utilize the Union beyond superficial means, and even fewer actually, dare I say, care about its inner workings. If I am expected to take the elections process seriously, I expect speeches and debates. Posters promising poppycock prove pointless. BTV should get on this.CAMPUS MADE PRETTY FOR PREFROSH, GREATMaybe I feel this way because I hail from a different climate, but I think the fact that groundskeepers are planting flowers around campus is hilarious. They are just going to dig them up again in the fall. Don't get me wrong, I think the flowers are beautiful, but something about the whole endeavor just strikes me as curious. Anyone else notice that this is happening right before the open house? Makes you wonder...
(04/12/05 4:00am)
Hi David and Scott,I'm a Brandeis and Justice alumn - I graduated in 2001, reported sports for the Justice for two years while at the Deis and had a sports column at the paper my senior year called The Corner Kick. Currently, I'm a financial journalist in NYC - who still dabbles in sports writing as a freelancer... I'm writing you because a friend of mine from Brandeis forwarded onto me a student-written letter to Pres. Reinharz in protest of this year's commencement speaker choice as well as the disturbing response to the letter from Pres. Reinharz intending to be sent to an administrator. I'm sure you both have read the letter and email as I know it is definitely circulating around campus and I'd imagine is creating quite a stir. I wondered a couple things - firstly, I wanted to know if the Justice would be covering this newsworthy piece of info (if by the off chance, no one has submitted the letter to the Justice or onto any of its writers, I can provide the link for you)Secondly, whether the student's dissatisfaction is a sentiment that is prevalent on campus right now and whether the Justice has covered the student's dissapointment over the commencement speaker choiceThirdly, whether you guys might be interested in printing an editorial from an alum, namely, me :) about the letter. I wound up sending an extremely long editorial-type email back to my friend who had passed the letter onto me (as an aside, he's also a Justice alum, who is working as a news writer/producer for a Boston t.v. station) and found I had alot to say about the whole incident. This is something that I already know has been leaked to the press outside campus and effects you guys, the students, but also the alum and the reputation of the school.I am personally outraged by Reinharz's response to the letter (and I'd love to know what he actually intended by asking that question) but, I also found the student's letter to be in such poor taste... and my main argument is why this student chose to send a letter to the president a month before graduating. There were so many productive things he could have done to make his experience at the school better - and if he felt he did everything in his power to have had "fun" at school and still felt this way - why didn't he pitch an editorial piece to the Justice and write about it in a forum that might lead to more discussion within the student body and among the faculty and administration.Perhaps I'm too far removed from campus life - it's only been four years, but believe me, it feels like a century. I'd love to offer a little bit of a seasoned opinion on the whole matter - if the Justice would let me.Feel free to contact me either way at danaczapnik@yahoo.comI apologize for the long-winded email.Thanks,Dana
(04/05/05 4:00am)
To the Editor:Though I am not a student of journalism, it seems reasonable to me that a campus newspaper has an obligation to respect the personal integrity and privacy of every student whom the newspaper serves. In 'Two swimmers suspended from nationals (March 22) it seems the Justice relied on swimmer Matt Christian '05 as the only source of information. Aside from Christian's testimony, the article contains no objectively verifiable facts.Despite this lack of proof, the Justice saw fit to prioritize this sports-related article as front-page news. In contrast, the more noteworthy event of Christian's own swimming success was relegated, appropriately, to the sports page.While Chris Pai '07 and Coach James Zotz were quoted, their quotes were reactions to the story, rather than accounts of it. In fact, the article states that the team captains refused to comment on the alleged events.The article also states that Christian has had past conflicts with the accused, Pai and Leon Rosefigura '07. Knowing this, a responsible reporter would try to ascertain both sides of the story, rather than allow one party to assassinate the character of the other. The Justice allowed its subjects in this article to be falsely vilified. Christian was quoted as calling Pai and Rosefigura an "infectious disease," citing incidents of illicit drinking and physical confrontation. The Justice apparently did not fact-check these allegations. Why is the Justice letting itself be used at the personal whim of a disgruntled athlete? If the team's own coach and captains refuse comment, why is the word of a swim team member-an equal to those he slanders-accepted as gospel? Pai and Rosefigura likely face a lengthy process of restoring their reputations. In the interest of the student body and journalistic integrity, I request that the Justice refrain from further speculative accounts of student misdoings and focus instead on actual stories-which should include a spectrum of testimonials, as well as objective facts. Then the paper will continue to serve the interests of all students, rather than providing a public forum for personal vendettas.-David Culberg '05
(03/29/05 5:00am)
FORUM BRIEFSA Thursday is a Thursday is a ThursdayIt is amazingly Orwellian that this university can decide at the last moment to change days around and confuse the entire Brandeis community. Mondays become Thursdays, Fridays become Mondays and Wednesdays become Thursdays. This is even more confusing than the Student Union elections!Why isn't a weekday ever replaced by a weekend day? I propose that we have a "Brandeis Sunday" next Thursday. And if the administration does not make this schedule change, I say we treat it like a Sunday anyway because we decided we wanted it. And if no one joins me, that's fine. I will just get exceedingly drunk on Wednesday night and skip out on class the next morning.Hairy and scary and and too close for comfortI saw the play Hair this week. Great job and kudos to all who were in it-but what was up with the cast coming up to audience members and physically running rampant on our private parts? The cast took moments during the performance to actually approach the audience, singing, dancing and throwing flowers. I was sadly disappointed. Some of the more attractive actresses, like "hot stuff" Jessie Podell or "cooler than school" Michal Zecher, for example, came up to the audience but they didn't dance near me! Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't mind that much being barraged by hippies doing LSD and smoking marijuana. After all, I am "hip" with what all you kids do these days. Your music might not be my style, but I am "with it." But if the drama kids on this campus need to learn one thing, it's this: sex sells. Remember that next time when I have a short, paunchy, smelly guy shaking his butt in my face.Aramark's not helping me be Jenny CraigAramark decided to replace my beloved fat-laden mayonnaise with a healthier and leaner fat-free version of the condiment I adore. Who eats mayonnaise to lose weight? Mayonnaise was never intended to be a healthy food. Where does Aramark get off thinking that the people who normally eat mayonnaise will be happy with a decision to basically remove what we love the most? This week I tried the replacement mayonnaise, in order to be fair to those monsters at Aramark. The problem is that in order to get the new mayonnaise to taste anything like the real mayonnaise that I love and enjoy, I have to use 40 packets of it on my sandwich. And of course, no one told me that 40 packets of fat-free mayonnaise add up to 600 calories! I thought I was eating "healthily." This is not going to help me get that interview at Jenny Craig that I always wanted.Next I'll wear a skirt with my pink shirtWhat's up with every guy wearing pink shirts these days? I started the fashion back in fifth grade. But as usual, every man wants to copy my fashion sense. But it has gone way too far! Now, Brandeisian men have taken the last dive in the hopes of bringing out their feminine side. If they are willing to wear pink shirts, what's next? Skirts? Then again, I wouldn't mind skirts so much. Maybe that is what I have to do to start the next fashion trend: wear a mini-skirt with my Uggs, like the girls. I may look weird at first, but that's what they said in fifth grade-and look how wrong they were there. You just wait and see who's copying who.And my mom thinks I'm a weirdoNo week is complete without mentioning my adorable mother. Here is a memorable quote from the inimitable Lauri Hartz: "Hoishal! What kind of article did you write? Why do you write about not being able to get girls? I know it's the truth, but do you have to tell everyone? You always were a weirdo!" It is truly amazing how parents never can understand us college students. I admit my case, sadly, is worse than most.
