There's normally a lot to complain about at Brandeis, and this week was no exception. From neighbors' girlfriends to a prolifieration of posters to suspicious-looking flowers, many happenings deserve brief comment.NEW PHONES; THAT'S NICE, BUT WHY NOW?

Am I the only one confused about the mandatory telephone switch? One month before we depart for the summer, we have to trade our "outdated" phones for "high-tech" models. I know this sounds awful, but the only people who are going to utilize the zany new features are the techies. I don't see any discernable difference between the telephones, except, of course, that the new one takes up more space on my already-cluttered desk. Besides, wouldn't it be more logical to return the phones before we leave campus this semester and pick up the new ones when we return in the fall?

IF THESE UNNERVINGLY THIN WALLS COULD TALK

Our culture is obsessed with thinness. I think, however, that even Richard Simmons would agree that there's one thing that should not be thin: walls. I don't know about you, but if I wanted to hear what the people next door were doing, I'd get a stethoscope and eavesdrop on them. I have no desire to hear my neighbors' music, alarm clocks or girlfriends. Contrary to popular belief, posters and photographs do not create an adequate muffler. Could someone please investigate how expensive it would be to add a layer of soundproof padding? That way, we would not be able to hear our neighbors and we would be able to literally bounce off of the walls when we get bored.

GIMME A BREAK... BEFORE SCHOOL ENDS?

For all the talk about diversity on campus, I get the impression that West Coasters like me are not given fair treatment. The latest example? Spring break (part deux) comes between the end of classes and final exams. If we want to go home for break, we then have to fly back across the continent for the sole purpose of taking tests. It's especially bad for me. I have only two days of exams, so if I go home during the break, only to return from California in time for exams, I will end up spanning the continent three times in two weeks. I would almost prefer it if there were a week of classes before finals, if only to make the trip home worthwhile.

YOU WANT MY VOTE? I'LL NEED A SPEECH

For all the problems that people have with the Student Union elections, I am quite surprised that the lack of speeches has never been raised. No one can be a true politician if he or she cannot use demagoguery to convince me of something. OK, so each candidate has their Web site, but who really looks at those? There have been many amendments about reforming the election process, but I cannot see the purpose. Few people actually utilize the Union beyond superficial means, and even fewer actually, dare I say, care about its inner workings. If I am expected to take the elections process seriously, I expect speeches and debates. Posters promising poppycock prove pointless. BTV should get on this.

CAMPUS MADE PRETTY FOR PREFROSH, GREAT

Maybe I feel this way because I hail from a different climate, but I think the fact that groundskeepers are planting flowers around campus is hilarious. They are just going to dig them up again in the fall. Don't get me wrong, I think the flowers are beautiful, but something about the whole endeavor just strikes me as curious. Anyone else notice that this is happening right before the open house? Makes you wonder...