Sex sells. The word "sex" is definitely an attention-grabber, especially among college students. And, it seems, even more so among the Brandeis student population. Admit it: Even this article's headline grabbed you. Lately, sex has been the talk of the campus, with the Less You Wear, Less You Pay Dance last Friday night, and with tomorrow's Jello Wrestling and Sex Olympics, not to mention other past events throughout the year.How can the day before final exams be spent more productively than by wrestling in jello, or answering a sex quiz (despite the provocative name, the Sex Olympics is apparently not a physical event)? Perhaps by actual studying? But, that's no fun. Watching shameless Brandeisians roll around in jello and attempt to answer questions about STDs is definitely more important than finishing up that 30 page research paper, right? Lately, I've been getting that impression, just by walking around campus and looking at advertisements.

The Less You Wear, Less You Pay dance has been around since my freshman year. I have actually attended the dance (although looking back, I don't know why). Wearing relatively conservative clothing when compared to others there, I still have gotten the wonderfully memorable pick-up lines, "Do you want to get naked with my friend? (with the friend in question actually being a drunken, naked pre-frosh)," and "Can I pour chocolate on you and lick you? (No, this wasn't part of the infamous chocolate-licking contest put together by the dance's organizers -- I'm much too prudish to join that display of debauchery!)" I know that cheesy lines such as these can perhaps be expected at such an event, but it seems the school is promoting casual hook-ups and general promiscuity simply by sponsoring such an event. Not to mention approving the third annual thong party .

I also take issue with the school practically encouraging each student to go out and buy a vibrator or dildo, and with Trisk's latest "Make Your Own Sex Toy" workshop. I feel that without parental notification of school policy, using WhoCash to purchase said sex toys is unacceptable. Last year, there was an issue over parents not wanting alcohol to be purchased at the Stein on meal-plan points, even if the student was over 21. How do you think the same parents would feel if they realized the WhoCash charged to their son or daughter's university account was going toward a shiny, new vibrator, rather than textbooks or copies of the student's thesis?

Do these parents realize that their tuition money goes toward Female Masturbation Workshops and school-sponsored sex instruction that includes Alwina Bennett sitting in Ziv Commons instructing students on which lubricant is the tastiest? I feel that although most college students are over 18, parents and Brandeis Trustees should remain informed of what is happening on this very sexually liberated campus.

I may seem prudish for writing an article about the oversexed environment I see around me, but there are some university policies I agree with. I feel that the university does help students who want to have safe sex with their partners and to prevent unwanted pregnancies and STDs by selling condoms in the C-store, offering the morning-after pill in the Health Center, and more recently arranging for free HIV testing at Massachusetts General Hospital. Yet, I also realize why female students commonly complain that the Health Center asks every girl with any sort of illness (including a sore throat, sprained wrist, etc.) whether or not she could be pregnant. Unsafe sex and unwanted pregnancies could easily occur after a drunken night at a school-sponsored event like the Less You Wear, Less You Pay dance or the Thong Party.

Can our school get any more sexually explicit? Perhaps. Maybe next year, thongs with the Brandeis seal will be sold in the bookstore, alongside the racks of logo sweatshirts. Or Student Events could attract more people to their movie screenings by showing classic movies such as "Deep Throat" or "Debbie Does Dallas." The wonderful show "Sex and the City," of which I am a big fan, has been screened in Usdan this year. This has led me to think that our school needs to become a little less "Samantha" and a little more "Carrie." On that show, Sarah Jessica Parker's character has a realistic and healthy attitude toward sex, while all Kim Catrall's character can think about is the next time she will find a hot stranger and get laid. Despite our liberated times, some modesty can be healthy every once in awhile. It's time for Brandeis to try it.

-- Jamie Freed '03 submits a column to the Justice