If I've learned just one lesson from my consistent consumption of sports media coverage in America, it's this: Never underestimate the power of the press to transform a trivial story into a headline-grabber. To my delight, there are currently two such stories that I am very interested in being disinterested with: the playoff guarantee of Rasheed Wallace and Barry Bonds' sputtering pursuit of Babe Ruth's home run mark. Ever since former New York Jets' quarterback Joe Namath boldly guaranteed a Super Bowl III win over the Baltimore Colts, heavy 18-point favorites before that game in 1969, athletes have been sullying the art of the guarantee. The main culprit of this crime is Detroit Pistons' forward Rasheed Wallace, who has "guaran-sheed" Pistons' playoff wins four times, starting with Game 2 of the 2004 Eastern Conference Finals against the Indiana Pacers. Wallace guaranteed a Pistons victory in Game 4 of a second round playoff series against the Cleveland Cavaliers on Monday, May 15 to create an enormous amount of buzz around the game. Even more buzz was created when Cleveland pulled out a 74-72 win to "defy" Wallace's guarantee.

There are a number of reasons why the significance of Wallace's guarantees has been blown totally out of proportion. First of all, Wallace was making a guarantee in a second round playoff game, not nearly as big of a stage as, say, Super Bowl III. In fact, none of Wallace's four guarantees have come in the NBA Finals, the league's biggest stage.

Moreover, the Pistons were the NBA's best team in the regular season with 64 wins, and were heavily favored in any game of this series. There is nothing Wallace had to prove by guaranteeing the Pistons to beat Cleveland, which they eventually did in seven games. The only big story surrounding this game was the one that actually happened, the Cavaliers upsetting the Pistons. Detroit winning a game they should win, guarantee and all, is not a big story. All Rasheed wanted was a spot on the front page, and ESPN gave him his wish. From now on, we ought to listen less carefully to Wallace's banter, and wait to hear something remotely significant from his mouth before making it a big story.

Remember, Rasheed Wallace doesn't have any magical psychic powers, and the Cavaliers did not break any spells. Framing the story this way diminishes Cleveland's true success.

However, the only thing that has been blown further out of proportion lately than the Wallace guarantee (besides Barry Bonds' cranium) is the Bonds-Ruth home run circus. As Bonds seeks to break Ruth's home run mark of 714, every one of his at bats has been scrutinized and televised, and every game that Bonds does not homer in is front page news, as the "record" is put off yet another day.

Of course, 714 home runs isn't the all-time home run record; that honor belongs to Hank Aaron at 755. When in the history of sports has such a big story been made out of a player being on the cusp of moving into second place in the record books?

I understand that Babe Ruth, the Sultan of Swat, was a true pioneer of the home run and possibly best home-run hitter of all time, but statistically speaking, he comes in second place to Aaron. In the record books, numbers are numbers, and to my knowledge, moving into second place all-time is not at all "breaking" a record. Celebrating Bonds passing 714 is an insult to Aaron.

While some Bonds critics simply dislike his personality, his supporters have argued that Major League Baseball is not celebrating his milestone due to racial discrimination. But both sides are still missing the main point: Bonds' celebration is not a concern until he is actually the all-time home-run king at 756.

More than ever this past week, I have gained a true appreciation for the ability of the media to turn insignificant stories into groundbreaking news. Feel free to call me whenever Wallace guarantees a Game 7 win in the NBA Finals and please let me prepare for celebration when Bonds approaches 755 home runs. Until then, put me on hold.