Welcome back to Brandeis, dear readers!

Let me start out by making a correction to my last article of fall semester, where I mentioned that my mother's favorite television show is Teen Mom. This is apparently not true, and she only watches it with my sister because it is, and I quote, "the best birth control ever!" My tuition may depend on this paragraph making it into JustArts. (Hi, Mom!)

The last month has been very exciting for those of us following the world of celebrities. Engagements! Divorces! Lawsuits! Politics! Babies! Libel! Slander! I don't have enough space to talk about all of the big events of the few weeks we were away on break, but let's take a look at some of the biggest stories.

First off, and as a middle-of-finals gift to some of us, the fabulous Britney Spears got engaged on Dec. 16. Spears' boyfriend of two years (and former agent), Jason Trawick, made it official in Las Vegas, where Jason popped the question with a (remarkably tasteful, for Hollywood) diamond engagement ring that he designed himself. "Jason is a romantic and when I asked him to tell me about Britney and what the ring would represent to them so I could find inspiration, his response was always the same—she is his princess!" said celebrity jeweler Neil Lane, who helped Trawick with the design and made the ring. In the engagement photos and all of the candid shots since the announcement, Spears has been positively glowing, and as a long-time Britney fan ("Baby One More Time" was my jam in fourth grade), I admit that I teared up a bit. No news yet on what Spears' conservatorship—she is still legally dependent on her father, meaning he has control over her finances and other legal matters—means for her upcoming nuptials.

Barely two weeks after Spears and Trawick celebrated their engagement in Vegas, another out-there pop star, Katy Perry, and actor-comedian Russell Brand ended their 14-month marriage. Brand served Perry with divorce papers on Dec. 31, finally confirming trouble-in-paradise rumors that had begun to swirl around the couple when candid photos showed them spending Christmas apart. "Sadly, Katy and I are ending our marriage. I'll always adore her and I know we'll remain friends," Brand tweeted the evening of the 31. Perry and Brand married in India in 2010 in a high-profile Hindu ceremony featuring elephants, a tiger and henna.

In other celebrity marriage news, Irish singer Sinead O'Connor ended her fourth marriage after just 14 days on Dec. 27. I have no words. I really don't.

The final days of 2011 also played host to several legal events, including the Kardashians' decision to sue the Institute for Global Labour and Human Rights over claims that the Kardashian clothing line is produced in sweat shops in China that use child labor. Charles Kernaghan, director of the Institute, issued a statement that really just said, "Wouldn't it be nice if the Kardashians just let us check out their factories and made sure everything was cool and no one was getting abused." (not a direct quote). Kernaghan's statement came after documented reports that Bebe, a product line the Kardashians endorsed and profited from, treated workers as barely-paid slaves and that China Labor Watch criticized the Kardashians by name in its report on Bebe. However, instead of saying, "Oh, what a nice idea, it would be great to make sure we're not profiting from the abuse of children," Kris Jenner, matriarch of the Kardashian clan, announced intentions to sue not only the Institute but also Star Magazine, which reported the claims, for libel. Yes, suing a human rights organization. What a great way to make yourselves look good in the press, Kardashians.

Another magazine took major flack from a celebrity this year, but unlike Star, which might have actually been trying to do something good for once, Jackie, a Dutch fashion magazine, deserved everything it got. The issue arose when Editor-in-Chief Eva Hoeke used the n-word to describe Rihanna's fashion sense in a late December article. She stated that she attempted to use the word as a compliment (oh girl, don't get me started), but understandably, the black community in the Netherlands and most of the rest of the magazine-reading world were seriously ticked off. Rihanna responded viciously over Twitter, and within a few days Hoeke announced her decision to resign.

I'm almost out of space, so let's do the "We Didn't Start The Fire" version of the rest of the big stories from break: Kelly Clarkson endorsed Ron Paul on Twitter and made some seriously dumb remarks about how voting for a politician doesn't mean she agrees with him; Lily Allen had a baby; Kourtney Kardashian is pregnant; George Lucas called Hollywood racist (three words, George: Jar Jar Binks); Teen Mom Leah is pregnant again; and the star-studded movie of Les Miserables is going to be awful.

And that's what you missed on Glee.