All parents have high hopes for their children, dreaming that they reach faraway, hard-to-reach goals and destinations. With a name like Falcon, it only makes sense that a child wants to take to the skies and realize the dreams his parents have for him. So the fact that Falcon Heene's parents told him to stay grounded (in the attic) as part of a premeditated, malicious plot to garner media attention which put the whole country into a panic just seems hypocritical. Especially since a balloon contraption was sitting right outside in their backyard. You tempt and you tempt your child, and then what? You call 911? Well, that just seems silly. Such is Richard and Mayumi Heene's parenting style: balloons and exploitation. The story is old news by now-weird wannabe actors being taped for the staple of all things moral, Wife Swap, decide that they want the world to think their seven-year-old son has flown away in a balloon. It's reminiscent of a biblical tale-the faux sacrifice of a son for publicity. Better yet, just think of it as the movie Up meets Roald Dahl's novel Matilda.

It's really just a tongue-in-cheek prank gone wrong. Except the joke veered off into a weird place when it was clear that the punch line would involve the F word-felony. And this F word could do more than just get the Heenes pulled from Lifetime (Wife Swap's venerable network). Falcon's wings may be clipped permanently under the supervision of child protective services as his parents get locked away, muttering under their breath that they should've spent more time prepping their son for the spotlight-oh, the pitfalls of method acting.

In the end, it seems even the most wacky and negligent parents can still manage to instill appropriate values into their children. The Heenes' biggest misstep seems to be that they underestimated their child's moral compass, which pointed in a direction away from their high hopes and lowly schemes. When asked about the affair, Falcon reacted in the way fairy tales dictate children do-he told the truth when shaken down by a wise old Wolf (Blitzer). And then he proceeded to do what fairy tales never mention in stories of frightened children doing brave deeds: He vomited profusely upon further probing.