This week lacks a single prominent pop culture story, so here instead is a series of unrelated pop culture events, most of which have little to no importance (even less so than usual). Earlier this week, Heather Locklear was caught driving under the influence of a controlled substance. And, in an act of Good Samaritanism, the paparazzi called 911 on her behalf while continuing to photograph the incoherent star. Oh paparazzi, in light of your illustrious good deeds one wonders how you ever acquired that bad reputation.

In something grossly unimportant and immediately forgettable, Meg Ryan and Dennis Quaid are rehashing their feud from eight years ago, which was centered around their divorce, their child and their infidelity. For those of you who don't remember, America's Sweetheart herself was caught cheating, and with none other than Russell Crowe. Now that I've had eight years to process this, I must say that tidbit of scandal is pretty impressive for the dainty blonde-who'd ever have thought that she could nab a dirty, sweaty Australian bad boy like Crowe? I applaud you, Meg Ryan: That's what I call an appropriate affair. But back in the day, everyone was crying foul.

Ryan now responds to this by mentioning that she was not alone in being unfaithful-cue Quaid. Coming out of the scandal almost completely unscathed (and subsequently awarded the America's Sweetheart title after Ryan's abdication), Quaid was unappreciative of Ryan's accusation-eight years later. Oh well. Here are a few tears for you, Quaid, and a couple for you, Ryan; may you squander our sympathy and affection on someone else.

Now on to something less trivial: Saturday Night Live has witnessed a resurgence of cultural importance with Tina Fey's guest appearances as Sarah Palin. From the similarity in their appearances, all prayed for a Palin spoof that would involve Fey. And, like the hockey mom who never misses a game, Fey came through, lipstick and all. Though this week's clip was less uproarious than the last, it hardly matters. Fey has managed to rekindle the SNL flame, prompting many to think, as they did in the days of yore, after a debate or political appearance, "I wonder how they'll parody this on Saturday Night Live.