A crisis is upon us, my friends. Run, hide, bury your children in a safe location and charge up your iPods (I had to throw that in there. I just got one.) As if the state of California burning to the ground around them wasn't enough, the big wigs of Hollywood now have to withstand an even harsher burn. Ladies and gentlemen, the writers of Hollywood have gone on strike. That means no more John Stewart or Stephen Colbert (shucks), no more late night comedies like The Tonight Show or Late Night with Conan O'Brien or any show that interchanges the words "late," "night" and "tonight" in its title and no more episodes of Saturday Night Live. (God had mercy).It would seem that in an act of extreme desperation (some call it suicide), the producers of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno have begun considering guest hosts to fill Leno's shoes, calling on the public for a replacement to step forth. Now if anyone can tell me the last time a public search to replace an icon ended in a successful candidate that didn't pervert and raze the reputation of the media vehicle into which they were recruited, I'll eat my own head and cure the common cold at the same time.

On a more positive note, America's health care crisis must be coming to a close. Want to know why? Celebrities are becoming involved!! (Cheers and sighs of relief all around!) If history is any indicator, this could mean that salvation is upon us. Ben Affleck, Reese Witherspoon and many others have joined forces in an advertisement sponsored by the American Association of Retired Persons, aimed at raising health care awareness in the country. The ad depicts the actors performing everyday tasks, such as Ben Affleck building a doll house and Reese Witherspoon staring with great concern at a pair of shoes in a store window, as they read their passionate voiceovers. By the end of the ad, I can't remember what it's for. I think I want a baby and a pair of shoes. Salvation is here.