Ask an angry Metalhead what makes him the most angry, and likely he'll tell you that it's a non-Metalhead describing our beloved music as "BLAAARGH!!! RAAAAHG!!! I HATE MY PARENTS!!! I'LL NEVER BE PRETTY!!! KILL! KILL! KILL!" Though it's a generalized depiction, it's a description I've heard many times. ("Sick death s-" is also a popular response.) Hearing people talk about Metal like that inspires a rage in me that I haven't felt since Angelina Jolie starred in A Mighty Heart (GET OVER YOURSELF!!!!) Just once, it would be nice to hear something like, "Oh, it's not really something I'm into, but it sounds very passionate and intelligent."

Metal is not for everyone. I know that. Some people will never get over the extreme vocal styles or the speedy tempos (although there exists excellent Metal devoid of either of these elements). What gets me is when I see people who can accept all these things, but are still turned off by what they perceive to be a message of blind hate. Don't call me a sellout just yet, though. Metal should be pissed and hateful, just not without an appropriate target and an intelligent argument. Fervent anti-Christian messages and hokey Satanism have, at least in recent years, probably turned away more potential Metalheads than they've converted. If we are to pull Metal out of the gutters of people's minds and keep it relevant, we have to steer it away from these themes.

Though most bands try to adopt unique and stimulating lyrical and visual themes, it's the odd incidents and exceptions that continue to sully our good image. Take for example, the March 2007 incident involving the Norwegian Black Metal act Taake. At a concert in Essen, Germany, their frontman, Hoest, who was already in trouble for exposing himself at a concert in 2005 (His balls burst through one of the many holes in his jeans-smooth) took the stage with a large swastika painted on his chest (smoother). Long story short; people were peeved. The rest of the tour was cancelled, the band's fans condemned and abandoned them, and their record label threatened to drop Taake from its roster. Now, for argument's sake, a person could claim that Metal is about rebellion, and the band was simply expressing an opposing viewpoint. I would call that person a mental invalid. The band got what it deserved. Hoest pulled a tastelessly offensive stunt with no real intent or message behind it and damaged Metal's already fragile image in the eyes of the public. Screw them.

Now, I won't pretend to be above this sort of thing altogether. One of my all-time favorite tracks, Amon Amarth's "Masters of War," proudly bellows the words, "Masters of war, torment every soul rape every whore, that carries the cross" during its thunderously head-bangable mid section. It'll get me moving every time, but I can't help feeling like I'm just perpetuating another vicious stereotype. When the guilt grows too strong, I'll throw on some Misery Index and listen to their (still mercilessly pummeling) tales of social injustice and the ills of human history.

Yet all Metal bands don't have to drop what they're doing and start writing about quantum physics and economic philosophy. There is still plenty of room for innovative variation on old themes. Norwegian Viking Metal band Enslaved have taken their pagan aesthetic, complete with endless references to their rich Norse mythology, and applied it to modern day issues, incorporating the old with the new. Also, if you wake up one day and feel especially mad at the institution of Jesus Christ, there are plenty of classic records to sate your thirst for blasphemy and devil worship-A good dose of Bathory always tickles my whistle just right.

Metal's supposed war with Christianity is at a stalemate. In the '80s, blasphemous Satanic imagery was the perfect escape for young Metalheads trapped in an increasingly Christian and socially conservative America, but today, those images only help to stereotype it. In order to remain relevant, Metal has to tackle more issues that are important to today's fledgling crop of Metalheads. Bands should turn their heads and their pens to the real world and see that they can be a force for good, no matter the evil they want us to believe they are.