In a stunning turn of events that few could have anticipated in the aftermath of former Seinfeld star Michael Richards' onstage racist meltdown, funnyman Chris Rock was forced to retire from comedy this week after reports surfaced that he, too, has used a certain racially charged slur on more than one occasion during his stand-up routine. Other comedians such as Dave Chappelle and Bernie Mac are reportedly considering similar career moves. Chappelle had no comment but referred all questions regarding fading careers to former costars Charlie Murphy and Donnell Rawlings. By now, Richards has surely come to terms with the idea that his professional future will be inevitably confined to motivational speeches at KKK rallies and romantic dinners for two with Mel Gibson. Personally, I'm surprised he has yet to blame the entire hideous episode on substance abuse and check into rehab to room with Congressman Mark Foley.

"You have an actor who is trying to be a comedian who doesn't know what to do when an audience is disruptive," said fellow comedian (who is actually funny) George Lopez. "He's an actor whose show has been off the air, he shouldn't ever be on a stand-up gig."

Not to worry, George. I think it's safe to say Richards won't be taking the stage any time soon. Now what to do about those 24/7 Seinfeld reruns? Is it even possible to boycott half of the programming on TV?

In other news, Tom Cruise looks a lot less crazy now, doesn't he?


As this is the Justice's last issue of the year, I thought it would be fitting to take a look back at the unfortunate year in American pop culture. So, in no particular order, here's a brief retrospective:

O.J. thought it would be a good idea to publish a book about how he would have murdered his dead ex-wife. Mel Gibson offended half of Hollywood and will soon release the epic Apocalypto, which tells the story of how the Jews killed all the Mayans. Dick Cheney shot his friend in the face and he's still the vice president. Enough said.

Who knew Cheney had any friends? There's one more reason not to hang out with Dick Cheney, if you didn't have enough of them already. Hogan showed the world he knows best, and if you try to argue with that (or step within 15 feet of his hot daughter), he will beat your behind into an over-the-hill shadow of its former self.

Kevin Federline proved that if you don't have smarts, looks or talent then you end up broke, divorced and homeless. A similar punishment should be brought upon the 2,000 people who purchased K-Fed's debut album. Joey Lawrence made a bald semi-comeback on "Dancing with the Unemployed Stars" and immediately went back to being a semi-has-been.

Danny Bonaduce made every alcoholic in the country feel better about himself. Flava-Flav proved that people will compete over anything or anyone if it's filmed for a reality series. Jack Bauer killed about 1500 more terrorists. That giant Burger King guy scared the crap out of everyone by popping up on every channel, and Snoop Dogg was occasionally released from jail.

Here's hoping 2007 provides as much material for satire as this year has.