Looking for an interesting off-campus internship opportunity? Would you like to spend a semester in our nation's beautiful capital? Are you interested in a career in politics? Have you lost your damn mind? If you answered yes to any or all of these questions, you should be interested to know that it just got a whole lot easier to join the Washington D.C. Congressional Page program. In fact, the formal application process has been waived since it became clear that no one in their right mind will soon be applying for the program which pairs students with congressmen who then use their power to seduce their apprentices. If you haven't been living under a rock in Sachar Woods for the last couple weeks, you've probably heard of Congressman Mark Foley's online corruption of his 16-year-old male page. Foley, who has less of a chance of remaining in politics than Paris Hilton does of being asked to join Mensa, has apparently contacted NBC in hopes of joining next season's cast of To Catch a Predator. Mr. Foley's repeated attempts to join the cast of The Apprentice have also gone unanswered. You may have also heard that Foley previously authored legislation to protect children from online predators. It's since become clear that this was simply an attempt to eliminate potential competition.



Never underestimate the buying power of a Trekkie. Fans of the Star Trek TV show including dozens of 40-year-old virgins spent a whopping $7.1 million over the course of a three day auction of memorabilia held at Rockefeller Center in New York City. Items were separated into a thousand categories including costumes, props and weapons. Dates and a social life were unfortunately not up for sale though you'd imagine even those items wouldn't have caused as much of a bidding frenzy amidst such exciting bargains as Jean-Luc Picard's $52,000 captain's chair.

The biggest surprise of the weekend came when a replica of the Starship Enterprise, used in Star Trek: The Next Generation and expected to command between $25,000 and $35,000, hauled in an unexplainable $576,000 from an anonymous American private collector. I'm sure Bill Gates will be very happy with his new toy.