I arrived at the furtive, secret location for the Pirate Club meeting somewhat hesitantly. I knew of the place, but wasn't sure we were allowed to go in. However, I would later learn that pirates pretty much do whatever they want. Upon breaking in, er, entering this secret location, Ben Douglas '08, the Capt'n, took out a bag of candles and we began to light them. At first it was only me, Capt'n Ben and Josh Klindienst '08, otherwise known as Iron John Kid. "The point of this club is to revel in the pirate spirit," Capt'n Ben said. "Adventures, stealing, treasure, all of the above."

"It's more than just argh-ing," Iron John Kid explained in the dark and cold, candlelit room.

The remaining club members showed up a few minutes past 9 p.m. Close to 20 people poured into the small, cluttered space, which included some huge metal gears and a couch tipped at a sharp angle. Apparently the club calls this place "Peril." This little nugget of information did not fill me with a warm, fuzzy feeling.

The first order of business was to determine who the First Mate would be. This was done by two sword fights between four candidates. They included Warren Domask '08, Iron John Kid, Jonathan Kindness '09 (also known as Chain Hands Joe) and a fellow who might have actually believed he was a pirate.

The first fight took place inside. After lots of jabbing and swatting with swords fashioned from duct tape and cardboard, a victor was chosen, but due to my untrained eye, I couldn't tell who it was. The next fight was held outside to allow greater movement. After a few minutes of more thwapping and poking, Pirate Warren came out victorious.

"I'm elated. It feels pretty cool, though my hand hurts from getting thwacked thoroughly," Pirate Warren said. "I am very proud to have all these fine pirates on my side who were absolutely integral to my honorable victory against all the potential first mates."

Next, the motley crew voted on where to bury a box of treasure. The options were to bury it at the current location or in another spot that again, I am not at the liberty to disclose. The latter won. We blew out all the candles, and started our trek to the next mystery place, which wasn't too far away.

After "gaining access" into the hiding place, I realized pirates really do love adventure. These Pirate Club members were clearly very dedicated to their mission and they loved to weasel where one normally wouldn't weasel. I would have just opted to leave the treasure under a tree and let some lucky kid stumble upon it, but these pirates were up for a challenge.

While waiting for Capt'n and two others to maneuver their way into the hiding spot, I asked a certain red-headed pirate, who called himself Chain Hands Joe, what he loved about the Pirate Club.

"My favorite part of the Pirate Club is burying treasure and finding good treasure to bury," he said. "There's not that much treasure left in the world, but we find the good treasure."

I asked him if anyone knew what was in the box we were burying.

"Some of us know. But we're not really allowed to talk about it."

Moments later a pirate approached us discreetly, picked up the treasure box and walked backward slowly to the location. We followed.

While the rest of the group buried the treasure, fears of asbestos inhalation and falling pieces of ceiling forced me to step outside for a breath of fresh air. Iron John Kid, who was on the look-out post, pulled me aside and said he wanted to tell me something.

He motioned for me to come closer and said in a low growl, "The cheating villainous scum that cheated me out of my place tonight, he'll not sit at the captain's right hand for long. I swear vengeance against him. I swear it in my own blood. He's not my first mate; my loyalty's to the Captain. I didn't lose tonight. He had his cronies jump me."

His uncanny pirate accent made me feel like I was right in the middle of Muppets Treasure Island, which the pirate club appropriately viewed several meetings back. I assured Kid his message would be relayed to the masses.

Finally the group emerged after successfully burying the treasure. Capt'n Ben seemed satisfied.

"Next meeting we're going to have a showing of Hook, because everyone loves Dustin Hoffman and Robin Williams."

They're also going to make a map, possibly cryptic, of where the treasure is buried, so that future generations of the Pirate Club may one day endanger their own lives to dig up a cardboard box of goodies. So, maybe it's not quite a pirate's life for me, but only because I am not a good swordfighter.