I'm a stumbling, confused, red meat-eating, culinary, sophisticated caveman. I'm a sentient mind housed in a cave dweller and I'm neither complete nor competent in either state of being. On any given day, I am uncertain whether to engage in a friendly fight or to bake a loaf of banana bread. I am a cute little savage with a prehistoric mind whispering to my rational self, and my rational self is whispering back. It's whispering, "Foodnetwork." Being a man, for me, is to be in an oddly blissful state of limbo.

Fighting is natural. There is nothing like feeling and causing pain. I have no wish to fight anyone for anything, but it certainly feels good to know that if I need to, I can. Physical strength is the purest primitive need. I want to know that I could protect myself-and more importantly, the people that I love-if I had to.

On the other hand, I am also interested in thought. I have worries beyond hunting and gathering. Although sitting on rocks in a contemplative pose sounds exhilarating to me-and I certainly do my fair share of it-I can't help but wonder if that sacrificed time might be better spent living. Contemplating whether I exist or not is certainly not natural and it is arguable whether it accomplishes anything, despite the fact that I enjoy it.

I might benefit from less thinking. But while baking is also unnatural, I don't think I would benefit from less of it. There is nothing more wonderful than following up a lovely session of pain and physical exertion with baking a delicious loaf of ginger bread, carrot cake or whatever else that is scrumptious and heavenly.

Reflection, baking, decorating and kittens are all unlikely properties in the primitive mind. At least, I don't see my cave dwelling ancestors being concerned with these matters. How is it that our bodies can be so confused? We are physically driven with our constant need for another adrenaline injection and yet so mentally motivated by pondering the meaning of our lives and what pastry to bake next.

There is a contradiction here, and it doesn't lie in the fact that I wear bunny slippers, bake and know how to color coordinate what I wear. The contradiction lies in our adrenaline addiction. We're not hunters anymore. Our animalistic behavior has become unnecessary and out of date. The day that people became intelligent enough to realize that a living can be made with a mind is the day that the concept of men as providers became superfluous by design.

Aggression is a redundant concept of war that men will hopefully one day learn to suppress completely. Maybe that's where my love of baking and decorating comes from: a reassessment of our design. Our obsession with destruction must come from the occasional necessity for defense from the people in society who haven't yet reassessed their design.

I personally doubt that humanity will ever evolve into gentle and beautiful beings who are above the concepts of greed and anger. I do not see a future for mankind in which violence is completely eradicated. In this lies the meaning in the duality of men-the two sides of male behavior. As long as there are people willing to cause pain out of necessity of their design-the people holding on to their identity of warriors-we need people who are willing to defend themselves. Perhaps baking, decorating, fighting, adrenaline addicted men are dormant warriors who aren't reliant on war. Someone who has the capacity to be a realistic member of a society where war is in principle unnecessary, while still being able to defend themselves and the people they love.

Maybe I'm wrong. It is after all possible that one day we'll be squishy balls of love and caring-but until such time I'm going to enjoy being an adrenaline junky with bunny slippers and a sweet tooth for baking.