My name is Matt B., and I am a recovering Facebook addict. It is strange to think that only five months ago this fad hit our campus. It is embarrassing to think about all the hours I and countless others wasted using the Web site. What's worst of all is that it has taken me until now to recognize my addiction and take steps to recover.It all started one sunny day in September. The Justice had just published an article about the site, but I actually heard about it through the grapevine. Having been here for only a few weeks, I still felt sort of out of place, and had not yet experienced the awkward falling apart with high school friends. "You mean there's a place on the Internet I can keep in contact with my friends from home? Sweet!"

When I got back to my room I instantly logged on. "Oh boy," I thought, "This is going to be so cool!" I created a profile, and five minutes later made the first of many revisions. I spent at least 45 minutes that day looking for all my friends at other colleges. Because there were maybe 30 schools on the network, I didn't find many of the people I was looking for.
Later on, I logged back in. It was official: I was hooked. I changed my profile for the third time in one hour. Bummed that I couldn't find many of my friends, I decided to broaden my search to acquaintances. My list of "Facebook friends"-the ones you don't talk to and only have on your list because you haven't the heart to reject them-increased.

Over the next week, the number of my friends on Facebook increased from a disappointing 10 to a relatively satisfactory 37. I spent countless minutes every day poring over people's profiles, fine-tuning mine and trying to discover any friends of friends who attended Brandeis, in hopes of meeting more people here. Always the competitive guy, I looked to see how many friends my fellow first-years had, jealous when they had more, and smug when they had less. I had even sunk to the point of reading the profiles of my friends' friends.

By mid-October, my addiction had spiraled out of control. I noticed that some people here had created make-believe profiles. I wanted in. "Hmm, I'm at Brandeis," I said to myself, "What could I do that's funny?" I submitted a fake Brandeis e-mail account to the registration page and the profile for The Lord God was born. Basking in my own cleverness, I set to work entering humorous personal information:

AOL Instant Messenger screen name: olmanindasky
Location: heaven
Birthday: the beginning
Job: smiting the wicked and creating the world
Hobby: making bad things happen to good people

Armed with two Facebook profiles, I spent valuable time every day looking for people to "befriend," sometimes approaching them with both my real and false profiles. Once the Facebook groups were formed, I spent even more time joining some and creating others. The groups devoted to Iron Chef, In-N-Out and Napoleon Dynamite are my creations.
But one day in December, I had an epiphany.

The Facebook really accomplished nothing. Poking people, changing their walls, looking at their personal information and watching their photos change every few weeks all amounted to nothing. I wasn't talking to these people. All the Facebook was doing was serving as a constant reminder that I had fallen out with many of my friends from home, and that there were even more people who I really didn't care about but didn't dislike either. I finally realized what I had always known, but had chosen to repress: The Facebook is quite lame.

Since my revelation, I have weaned myself off the Facebook. Just a few weeks ago, I dismantled my false profile. I apologize deeply to everyone who thought The Lord God was their friend. I know the apology cannot compensate for the pain the truth may have caused, but I hope you find consolation in the fact that I think it was pathetic to create a fake Facebook profile.

Why, then, if for all intents and purposes I haven't looked at the Facebook in weeks do I call myself a recovering addict? Simple: Addiction is a lifelong disease. I just hope my story was able to save some of you. Remember, friends don't let friends use the Facebook.