Conventional wisdom among those who run in conservative circles is that there exists a vast conspiracy within the homosexual community to overthrow the imposed moral values they have graciously developed for our society-starting with the children! I would posit that the fundamental goal is simply to be treated with equity, and younger minds have yet to be molded by stereotypes and bigotry, not ripe for "conversion."I am too young to be able to appreciate it fully, but the public's attitude toward people of alternative sexualities has improved remarkably in the last decade or so. This was clearly illustrated to me in a 1993 documentary about two kids' starkly different experiences when coming out to their parents.

The first story documented the worst possible reaction one could expect from a close relative: The girl was kicked out of her house and disowned by her mother, who refused to speak to her for the duration of the video-a span of several weeks.

In contrast to this, the second story involved a boy who came out to his parents over dinner one night. There was a lot of shock, awkward comments like "Are you sure? How do you know?" and "We love you, no matter what you are." The segment ended with the mother contending that, while she was still not entirely comfortable with the situation, she was beginning to accept her son for who he was.

While no one would deny that the first example was negative by any standards, the latter, though cast in a positive light in the film, would today likely be seen only as a first step on the road to understanding each other.

The Riddle Homophobia Scale (named for the psychologist who developed it) describes a continuum of attitudes toward homosexuals. The scale includes eight categories; from positive to negative they are: nurturance, appreciation, admiration, support, acceptance, tolerance, pity and repulsion. The latter four categories are considered by this scale to be homophobic attitudes. Interestingly, acceptance, toted as a major breakthrough for the positive scenario in the video, is considered to be in the homophobic range of the spectrum.

Acceptance is deemed homophobic simply because it implies that there is still something that needs to be accepted, rather than embraced. While this is certainly a reasonable starting point for parents and children when the subject is first breached-no matter how far society progresses, the initial revelation will always generate some reaction-today there is more of an effort to have families pass beyond acceptance to be able to give support forthright, rather than at arm's length.

Standards are being raised on a national level as well. This is readily evident in numerous aspects of the public realm:


School

Adolescence is never an easy time for anyone. Add the normal angst that comes with being a teenager to the confusion surrounding sexuality, and you've got some significant emotional baggage to deal with. But there is hope.

Today's youth is by far the most supportive and receptive generation yet. In the last five or six years, Gay-Straight Alliances have been popping up at an astonishing rate in middle and high schools all over the country. These organizations should have a wonderful cyclical effect: As ignorance and stigma are fought off, the atmosphere will become less hostile, and kids will begin to have an easier time being open about their sexuality, and this will in turn allow their peers to see just how little a difference it makes. They will learn at an impressionable age, while they are still open to new ideas, that there is so much more to a person than his or her sexuality.


Marriage/Politics

In the adult world, the hot topic of the day is gay marriage. The furor began in earnest last year when the Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts handed down a landmark ruling, holding that the commonwealth had presented no legitimate reason why same-sex couples should be barred from civil marriages, and thus any laws banning them would be a violation of the equal protections clause of the state constitution. This sparked months of heated debate and galvanized both ends of the political spectrum to action.

The media had begun to move past the issue when on Feb. 12, Gavin Newsom, the mayor of San Francisco, ordered city clerks to begin granting same-sex marriage licenses. One might have expected the move to be quashed immediately, but it instead spread throughout the country. It has paused only to allow justices to interpret state constitutions and fully articulate the situation.

Massachusetts was not the only state sued by gay couples for the right to marry. Legislatures in other states had dealt with similar earlier rulings by their Supreme Courts by amending their constitutions to "fix" the apparent violation. This state, however, has a particularly difficult and drawn-out procedure required to amend its constitution, and the full process would have extended far beyond the court order's deadline to begin issuing state licenses-last Monday. Even if the measure does reach a statewide ballot (the earliest possibility is the fall of 2006), people will likely be more reluctant to pass it, as it would be stripping people of something they have already been granted, rather than merely denying it to them from the beginning.

If nothing else, this amazing movement has drawn many conservatives to a compromise, so that now the majority of the population and even the government are in favor of civil unions, the very issue that caused such controversy when Vermont began issuing them in 2000.


Pop culture

Even in this area, perceptions have changed. Now, people seem to have begun to view homosexuals on TV as regular people, rather than representative tokens. Will and Grace has been a big hit for years, and the "Fab Five" from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy have endeared themselves to the populace with their genuine warmth and affection.

Compare that to the veritable scandal that erupted when Ellen DeGeneres came out of the closet on her show in 1997. Hollywood distanced itself from her for a time, and the show barely made it through another season.

Major progress is evident in all of these spheres. What was once unthinkable is now acceptable; what was an exception to the rule has become commonplace. Yes, there is still a lot of work to be done. But as you depart our little bubble and head out into the real world, take a moment to recognize just how far American society has come in such a relatively short period of time. And smile.