Lyn Paul Junction
Bullzeye
On Planetary Group
Grade: D+The attractive thing about the album Bullzeye by Lyn Paul Junction was the interesting name; you usually don't see the word "junction" in the name of a rock band. Named after Lyn Paul (lead singer, songwriter, guitarist, keyboardist and percussion) the rest of the band members include Sean McNeely (bass, background vocals), Tommy Pope (lead guitar), Hutch (who is actually Lyn Paul and does studio drumming) and Ed Loring (live drumming). However, there is nothing attractive about listening to Lyn Paul Junction's Bullzeye. The first impression given is that they're trying way too hard to sound like hardcore heavy metal. Their sound actually turns out to be a little reminiscent of eighties hair bands, but Lyn Paul Junction is not even close to good.

The first three songs, "Ball and Chain," "Mr. Money Bags" and "Stop and Smell the Roses," have titles so incredibly clichd that I expected them to be jokes, but no, they were serious. Besides the fact that these titles are incredibly corny, the songs themselves are so well-worn it's ridiculous. For example, the chorus of "Mr. Money Bags" is as follows: "Mr. Money Bags drives a new Jag/ Tags a new hag, oh he's Mr. Money Bags/ Mr. Money has the best in fashion fads/ Anything good or bad, yeah he's Mr. Money Bags." It would be a little more acceptable if the song was written about the common struggle that some musicians deal with between selling out and remaining independent.

However, it just talks about a guy with a lot of money. It's not even an issue that people can relate to since there's really nothing of substance with which to relate. There is no narrative, and there are no declarations of morals. It's just a statement that this man exists. Besides being incredibly clich, who cares?

The album continues painfully through the songs "Nobody" and "Gotta Be the One." "Nobody" sounds like a typical 1980's power ballad, and there's a reason those aren't popular anymore. To make matters worse, "Nobody" doesn't even live up to the power ballad standard of the 1980's. "Gotta Be the One" gets a little more upbeat, however in one line Lyn Paul sings "she's gotta be the one under de sun" in a Jamaican accent. The line is totally out of place and inappropriate. If he's trying to pay tribute to Bob Marley or any other reggae artists he ends up just insulting them instead.

As the album continues to plug through the songs, and as I desperately wait for the album to end, my ears were assailed with "Mean Green Machine," "Daydreaming" and "A Boy Named Lyn," (a disgraceful cover of the Johnny Cash song "A Boy Named Sue"). "Mean Green Machine" is about an Irish-looking girl who Paul decides to call "mean green machine." While the whole premise of the song is just stupid, it also almost seems like they're grasping at rhymes that just barely make sense. "Daydreaming" is an attempt to mellow out a bit, but like the rest of their songs it is a failure. It gets too gushy and again clichd about love with its incredibly corny lyrics. The song, once again, seems to be an attempt at a mellower power ballad with a smooth feel and hard electric guitar riffs in the background.

"A Boy Named Lyn (Sue)" is arguably one of the best songs on the album. Despite changing the name from Sue to Lyn, they stick pretty closely to the original Johnny Cash song, which is why it's not as bad as the others. However they don't always change the rhyme, and the song seems like an attempt to give their album more credibility than it deserves.

The last three songs are "Honey Child," "Tickle My Swamp Bone" and "If You Want to be Free," which was featured on the MTV show Fraternity Life. "Honey Child" is a song about a prostitute, and it too has that 1980's hair band feel. While the instrumentals on this song are better, it still seems like Lyn Paul Junction can't decide what kind of band they want to be. The evidence of this appears again in the next song "Tickle My Swamp Bone," which is an attempt to mix in some country with their hard rock feel. There's an especially heavy guitar sound but they're singing about doing the do-si-do. The final song, "If You Want to be Free," is decent at best. The guitar isn't quite as heavy as the other songs on the album, and the drums are played up more which could be the reason for why it made it to MTV-but it's still only mediocre.

Overall Lyn Paul Junction's Bullzeye is an album that isn't worth the time. While the instrumentals can on occasion be good, the lyrics are such a silly display that the album simply isn't worth it.