Kournikova announces she'll call it a careerThe last time a pro athlete with as much notoriety as Anna Kournikova decided to pursue acting full-time, O.J. Simpson landed roles in David Zucker's "Naked Gun" movies. "The Juice," as well all know at this juncture, put a premature end to his doomed silver screen career by hacking two innocent human beings to death.
Last Monday, the 22-year-old Kournikova told the London Evening Standard that she intends to quit playing tennis early next year so she can focus on becoming an actress and television awards presenter.
Once upon a time, Kournikova reached the 1997 Wimbledon semifinals ranked eighth in the world, and even grabbed a couple Grand Slam doubles titles with former world number one Martina Hingis. Now, however, it seems the blonde bombshell is content to audition for roles on such horrific sitcoms as NBC's "Whoopi" and "Miss Match."
"Acting and presenting are definitely things I enjoy doing," she told the Evening Standard. "I'd love to appear in something like 'Sex and the City' or 'Friends.' I get offered lots of those sorts of jobs, but I've never had time to pursue them because of my tennis."
Kournikova, who cites chronic neck and back injuries as contributing to her downfall, has admitted that the intensity of the WTA Tour has become too much for her fragile psyche. "I can still play occasional exhibition games," she said, "but I can't cope with the rigorous schedule of major tournaments."
The women's draw, which just three years ago was enjoying a renaissance with the rise of the Williams sisters, Kournikova, Hingis, as well as American Jennifer Capriati's stunning return to prominence, now looks less appealing than an episode of "7th Heaven."
One can only hope Anna's latest passion leads to more happiness than the utter misery and self-loathing that must accompany societal outcast Simpson on a daily basis.
Nebraska player knocks out Missouri fan

If you ever wondered why most football players don't consider kickers and punters real men, look no further than Nebraska placekick holder Kelly Huston. Following the University of Missouri's surprising 41-24 thrashing of Huston's seventh-ranked Huskers in Columbia, Mo. last Saturday, the special teams player had a special going-away present for an unsuspecting Tiger fan.
As 21-year-old Missouri student Matthew Scott rushed onto the field along with thousands of other joyous students, Huston slugged him in the face before running into the visitors locker room.
As Scott lay motionless on the turf, the scene brought to mind Nebraska football criminals of the past, most notably abusive womanizer Lawrence Phillips. Back in 1998, Phillips yanked his ex-girlfriend out of her bed and dragged her down three flights of steps by her hair. Former Nebraska coach Tom Osborne, a famed rationalizer, inexplicably reinstated his star tailback weeks after the incident, just in time for the national championship game.
Unfortunately for the gutless Huston, video cameras caught his violent act and the holder was suspended for one game by Nebraska head coach Frank Solich after he and Athletic Director Steve Pederson reviewed the tape.
Despite handing down the suspension, Solich did his best Bill Clinton-esque spin job as he discussed what appeared a clear-cut situation. "I truly believe that Kelly did not instigate the situation," Solich said, "and that he was simply reacting to what he saw as a dangerous situation coming right at him."
Whatever lets you sleep well at night, Frank.
Sapp refers to NFL officials as slave masters

Tampa Bay Buccaneers defensive tackle Warren Sapp just doesn't get it. After NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue finally wised up and fined Sapp $50,000 (pocket change for most football stars) for bumping an official before a game against the Redskins and skipping through five rows of stretching Indianapolis Colt players before a Monday Night Football matchup, Sapp pulled out the race card.
In an interview Sunday on CBS' "The NFL Today," Sapp made Michael Irvin seem politically-correct as he discussed how Redskin linebacker LaVar Arrington complained to NFL executives about Sapp's obnoxious behavior.
"He got what he wanted," Sapp said. "He snitched and slave master come down. That's all it is. Stop a man from doing something that he's been doing for nine years? And so now there's a rule against me. Thanks. I knew the league was gonna do what they did because they've been notoriously against Sapp. Like I said before, it's a slave system."
The broken record then continued spinning. "Make no mistake about it," Sapp rambled on, "slave master say you can't do it, don't do it."
Apparently slave master doesn't mind signing Sapp's multi-million dollar checks.
Celtics deal Walker to Mavs for LaFrentz

Yesterday Boston Celtics head of basketball operations Danny Ainge announced that his team had traded All-Star forward Antoine Walker (along with Tony Delk) to the Dallas Mavericks in exchange for Raef LaFrentz, Jiri Welsch and Chris Mills.
LaFrentz has six seasons remaining on a $69 million seven-year contract he signed before last year. The hot-headed Walker, who averaged 17 points and nine rebounds last season, joins a loaded Mavs squad that includes Steve Nash, Dirk Nowitzki, Michael Finley and another off-season acquisition, former Warrior Antawn Jamison.