Hey there sports fans, it's that time of the year when the stars are in alignment. I am, of course, referring to the valiant campaigns waged by noted intellectual Gary Coleman and Christian values advocate / porn star Mary Carey in their battle against the disturbing Leviathan that is Arnold Schwarzenegger. With Arnold in command, we can be assured of years of prosperity for California, knowing full well that the state will flourish under the reigns of a man who has played Hercules, Conan and Mr. Freeze. God Bless America.

What does this have to do with sports, you ask? I am getting there, so bear with me. Gary Coleman is a skilled thespian: anyone who has seen him at work knows that he puts Emmanuel Lewis to shame in the category of African-American dwarf actors.

Similarly, Mary Carey is skilled at what she does as well, and I think many people reading this know what I am talking about, though they might not admit it.

Even Arnold is the go-to guy when it comes to bodybuilding or Austrian actors who mangle English much the same way Aramark mangles our cuisine. However, no member of this triumvirate of mediocrity has any business flapping their gums on the subject of politics, yet a state was willing to put one of these apparitions of adequacy in charge.

Just the other day, I was walking down the area between Usdan and the Library, (a section of campus Joseph Shmulewitz affectionately calls "Lung Cancer Alley," for all the international students who tar up their organs there), when I heard two people engaged in conversation.

One chap said to the other, in a voice full of confidence - as if he had the book given to Marty McFly's arch nemesis in Back to the Future 2 - "I will give the Yankees Game 1, I admit they will take it, but we will come back and take the next four and win it."

The other fellow, in clear agreement with the first, replied, "Yeah, I agree with you 100%. It is, without a doubt, the year we put 1918 to rest."

When they proceeded to discuss the most intricate details of the Red Sox it became clear that these "fans," (fans only in the literal sense of the word "fanatic," as their supposed devotion is, in no way, grounded in fact or knowledge) could barely name five members of the team they were so staunchly defending.

Here were two students, and these two students, nameless to me, could be any of scores of dozens of students on this campus who carry themselves in the same way, who couldn't tell me who Bill Mueller or David Ortiz were.

It is not just that isolated incident either. Last week, with the Red Sox facing a potential sweep at the hand of Billy Beane's A's, the Sox were able to just barely pull out a victory. Of course, this sent Sox fans off the handle.

There was looting and rioting everywhere in New England. In my quad alone, when the win was sealed, there was a collective din such as would befit a cataclysmic earthquake. It was not life or death that was thrown to the stage, but rather simply not losing. Yankee fans celebrate winning, if at all. Often, they do not even celebrate winning, for they have an entitlement complex of sorts.

Red Sox fans, who worship a franchise with one of the highest winning percentages in all of organized athletics, exalt a team that simply did not go down in spectacular defeat. In Boston, and, by extension, Brandeis, we are seeing the celebration of the mundane.

Some see the Sox rallying from the brink as evidence that this is their year; much in the same way that Carlton Fisk's homer in Game 6 in 1975 was proof that the Sox would take it, proof that was soon shot down with Boston's loss in Game 7.

The fact that the Sox made the ALCS this year is not evidence of supernatural forces at play. This is simple evidence of a slightly superior team, the Sox, edging out a slightly inferior team, the A's. If it had gone the other way, it would just mean that the worse team had pulled it out, as often happens.

Look at it this way: For all the pomp and circumstance, what does this series really signify? This series is not a chance for introspection. It is not evident of a team that has simply not won since 1918, even though they have almost always put a strong team out on the field.

Whoever wins this series wins it, sometimes the better team doesn't win, and sometimes it does. These two teams happen to be evenly matched, so let's just enjoy the games for what they are, and let us not try to make them what they are not, for we may never get to see such baseball again in our lives, and we will certainly never hear Joe Torre confuse "waste of flesh" Karim Garcia with golf sensation Sergio Garcia ever again. I do hear that Zimmer wants another chance at Pedro again. In that battle, my money would go on Zim and his metal plate.