For this week's column, I could talk about Yao Ming and how he is the future of basketball. I could talk about Matt Williams and how his desire to be near his children while divorced is a heartwarming story, showing where baseball should rank in one's values. I could talk about Steve Spurrier and wonder aloud if he is ruining the Washington Redskins. All of these are great individual stories that carry very little weight in the wide scope of things. Just another star in the sky. Instead, I chose to end this semester by writing about Hootie Johnson, Tiger Woods, and the Augusta National debacle currently looming in Georgia.Where to begin? Let's start at the top with Hootie Johnson, current chairman of Augusta. He is playing the role of G-d in this argument of who will join and who will play with a member. Without delving into the facts, it is important to realize that women are allowed to play. They are no different than you or me, in that they need to have a lucky, multi-billionaire friend to ask them to join them for 18 over at our version of St. Andrews. This is the same club that placed Bill Gates on the waiting list until they could "find a spot." The same Bill Gates who could actually spend $100,000 a minute for the rest of his life and have some change left over. The issue is clearly more deep-rooted than money, but you have to put the situation in its proper perspective. Truthfully, the more you want in, the less they want you. That is why you don't apply for membership. You are asked if you would like to join.

Next, this is not a legal issue. Augusta is not violating any laws in limiting membership to their private club. Let me put this in layman's terms. If, before coming to Brandeis, I had applied to Smith College, my application would have been rejected quicker than people stopped using the new campus center. According to my physician -- at the very least -- I am a male. That immediately prevents me from enrolling at Smith. The injustice! The audacity! The scary parallels? You don't see men's organizations picketing and demanding equality in Northampton, Mass. The double standard that we all live by is both disturbing and excessive.

Take a typical date, for example, of Jehuda and Shulamit. Jehuda arrives at his date's door, flowers in hand. He then walks her to the car, opens then door for her, drives to the restaurant, where he opens the front door. Then, they eat dinner where she orders the most expensive item on the menu and he is responsible for the check. No matter -- they go to the bar and grab some drinks. He pays their tab and he drops her off at home. A peck on the check later and she is awaiting his phone call (of course, he calls her five days later).

Don't misunderstand me. I believe that this is the best way to date. But, when was the last time she brought the flowers, opened the door, paid for the meal, bought the drinks, or made the phone call? This is just how society works and has worked for the past two millennia. Why should we change all of a sudden? Couldn't the women open up the newest, greatest golf course and make it exclusive to women? Would men complain to the same degree?

Where do Tiger Woods and the New York Times fit into all of this? I believe the Times erred in demanding that Woods relinquish his right to defend his green jacket before thousands of live fans and millions of viewers watching it all unfold on television or online. Maybe the Times should pull their reporters from the tournament. The Times, instead, chose Woods to be the spokesperson for the women's perspective because he is a minority.

In asking him to sit out they are drawing unnecessary parallels between Dr. Martin Luther King and Martha Burk. An unfair comparison, I might add. Woods might not have been able to play Augusta 60 years ago because he is half-everything. The difference is that Woods would have been barred from any golf tournament in the world, not just the Masters. Today, Woods, and women for that matter, can play any public course they wish, from sea to shining sea.

My issue with the National Council of Women's Organizations is not that they are fighting perceived bigotry. Rather, it is their angle. They believe that women should belong because they are not represented in Augusta's membership. Chairman Johnson has never once said that they would not accept women ever. It is simply the demand for immediate action that irritates Johnson to the core. See, down South, nothing is done quickly. A New York minute is just that: It belongs to a stuffy, white collar city with millions of people and too many cabs. Places like Augusta, Ga. enjoy life at their own paces and I, for one, believe that their right to do so is proper and protected by the laws Northerners themselves drew up in the first place.

--Brian Ashin '04 sumbits a column to the Justice.