Klein: Good morning, Mr. Klein, and welcome back to Klein: Unrelated. 

Klein: Woah! Doesn’t it feel good to be back? 

Klein: One last year of telling my parents that I’m a columnist at The Justice and pretending to have a promising career in journalism lined up? It feels great!

Klein: And for those who are new to campus, can we take a second to explain what this column is all about?

Klein: Of course! Seeing as how we are two guys with the last name Klein, who happen to be unrelated to each other, last year we decided to start a food review section dedicated to local restaurants near campus.

Klein: Exactly! And for year two, are we switching it up at all?

Klein: No. 

Klein: A man of few words. 

Klein: Yep. So, where are we this week?

Klein: This week, we visited The Creamery, a clear money laundering joint.

Klein: Huh? Explain.

Klein: Well, considering their lack of patrons and incredibly low prices, I can’t think of any other way they could still be in business.

Klein: OK.

Klein: I see we’re still doing this man of few words bit.

Klein: Yep.

Klein: Regardless of their alleged ties to organized crime, what did you think of the ice cream?

Klein: 2.43.

Klein: What are you talking about? What scale could that possibly be on?

Klein: Out of three. 2.43 out of three.

Klein: OK, dude. I agree, I would give them a 2.55 out of three. A very solid rating, all things considered. I was pleasantly surprised. 

Klein: I had the butter pecan and was impressed by the deep flavor. I got a small cup for $6.41 after tax, and was impressed by the large amount of above-average ice cream you get for that price. What did you get?

Klein: More words this time! I’m impressed! I ordered a small cup of moose tracks with M&Ms on top. Just like you, I also appreciated the value on offer. Best of all, the moose tracks were rich and creamy — hence the name! So, would you go back?

Klein: Yeah, I would. It’s a nice treat after AK’s or Prime Deli.