Well goodness, kids, it's been a heck of a summer. The race for the Republican presidential nomination is in full swing, the economy's a mess (anyone else getting excited about paying for grad school?), and apparently not even cold cuts of turkey are safe anymore.

But enough about that—let's focus on something more important, shall we? Celebrities!

Yes, readers, this summer in Hollywood was almsot as exciting as it was in the real world. Births, deaths, weddings, imprisonments and ends of eras, all crammed into the 3 brief months we spent away from the culinary delights of Sherman. Let's take a look back and see what our favorites have been up to, starting with the happiest of occasions: new babies.

On July 10, David and Victoria Beckham welcomed a baby girl, Harper Seven, to join older brothers Brooklyn, 12; Romeo, 8 1/2; and Cruz, 6 1/2. According to David Beckham, Harper's name comes from the author Harper Lee of his wife's favorite book, To Kill a Mockingbird, and Seven comes from Beckham's jersey number for Manchester United and the English national team. As any self-respecting Spice Girls fan knows (yours truly included), Victoria was always the most fashion-driven of the ladies, and no doubt little Harper came home to the most decked-out baby closet ever.

In addition to celebrity births (the Beckham's was probably the most significant of the summer, so I won't bore you with the list), there were also a slew of celebrity weddings this summer. Most recently, supermodel Kate Moss tied the knot to The Kills guitarist Jamie Hince in a fairytale-esque wedding inspired by gypsy culture and fashion.

Gay marriage was legalized in New York on June 23, and New York-dwelling celebs headed to the courthouse to tie the knot. True Blood star Dennis O'Hare and his partner Hugo Redwood turned their longtime love into a recognized marriage on July 28. Earlier in the week, Rod and Nicky, the gay puppets from Avenue Q, made it official in a ceremony on the steps of City Hall. Call me sentimental, but that's just cute.

The most controversial wedding of the summer was undoubtedly the marriage of 51-year-old Lost actor Doug Hutchison to 16-year-old aspiring actress and singer Courtney Stodden. No, you read that right: a 51-year-old marrying a 16-year-old. Don't worry, it was legal; Stodden's mother signed off on the documents. But seriously, when did we get back to the 1700's? The couple has been making a circuit of major talk shows defending their "true love" (um, ew?), but this particular writer thinks that the whole thing is ridiculously creepy.

In vaguely marriage-related news, Arnold Schwarzenegger's housekeeper came forward this summer and revealed that she and Schwarzenegger had been having an affair for years and that they have a son together. Schwarzenegger's wife (and Kennedy princess) Maria Shriver would have none of that, thanks very much, and is in the process of filing for divorce, requesting full custody of her and Schwarzenegger's underage children and hefty alimony payments. You go girl.

Lord Voldemort officially bit the dust in the release of the final Harry Potter film on July 15. The series has been hailed as "the books that inspired a generation to read," and millions of viewers turned out to bid farewell to a childhood fantasy.

The major non-fictional death this summer was, of course, singer Amy Winehouse, who passed away at the age of 27 in her London home on July 23. Amy's battle with drug and alcohol addiction was well publicized, but recent pictures of her out and about in London shortly before her death gave many fans hope that she was on the road to recovery. No narcotics were found in her system during an autopsy, but medical officials believe that her body was simply ravaged by drugs. Amy's music was inspirational and beautiful, and while she wasn't exactly a lifestyle role model, there's no doubt that the world of music lost an amazing voice that day.

There you have it readers: the celebrity life cycle in one article: birth, marriage, divorce, death. Here's hoping for another fabulous school year of celebrity antics.