I feel like we may have promised not to cover the downfall of Western civilization as embodied by Britney Spears. Too bad.A headline on entertainment.msn.com yesterday read "Britney Spears in Minor Car Accident," and the inanity of the story struck me as perfect for this Pop Culture block. Some may remember Britney's former vehicular mishaps. In October, Spears was caught driving without a license. In August, Spears was charged with a misdemeanor hit-and-run that took place in a parking lot. The charge was dropped after she paid off the other driver.

Let's get back to the matter at hand. It appears that Ms. Spears was chillin' in her car in stop-and-go traffic on the Ventura Freeway when she rear-ended a car in front of her, setting off a chain reaction (not unlike the chain reaction of media coverage caused by Brit-Brit's every stumble and lapse) causing that car to hit the car in front of it. No cars were damaged, and no one was hurt.

This incident embodies the very inertia of Spears' public persona. Did anyone catch her "comeback" performance at the 2007 Video Music Awards on MTV? Remember how she sleepily (or druggedly) gyrated to the dulcet tones of "It's Britney, Bitch"? I think that song might actually be titled "Gimme More," but no matter. The fact that Britney could cause an accident at such slow speeds as not to damage any of the three cars involved should come as no surprise.

Let's take it to a higher, totally meta level. This kind of news story is just another asteroid in the Britney news orbit from which Britney will never reach escape velocity. After the Big Bang of the head-shaving incident and the solar flares of her various psychological judgments and rehab stints, the Britney news cycle seems to be slowing. Before too long, the Britneyverse will reach entropy, and the Britney news machine will either spastically spit out news items of crippling inanity ("Britney spills Froot Loops," "Jehova's Witnesses visit Britney's house"), or it will fade out altogether. For both of our sakes, let's hope it's the latter. There's only so many faux-intellectual examinations of news stories like "Britney Spears in Minor Car Accident" that this paper, nay, this world, can take.