The Borat movie made just under $25 million this weekend, $10 of which came from my wallet. That's right-I got to see the most-hyped film since Snakes on a Plane when it opened nationwide Friday night and, for the record, it was just as hilarious as advertised. If you've been out of the loop with the entire Ali G/Borat phenomenon, the movie follows the hilariously idiotic fictional Kazakh journalist as he makes his way across the United States, offending just about everyone on the journey. Borat is one of three characters created by British comedic genius Sacha Baron Cohen and featured on his HBO series Da Ali G Show.Yet with Borat's opening-weekend success, longtime fans must now come to terms with the inevitable throng of high school-age punkasses who will soon fill the streets and annoy us all with their painful attempts to imitate the hilariously incompetent character. Sure, it was funny when only a handful of your friends had heard of Borat or Ali G, but after the 15th person yells out a random and once-funny Borat quote in the middle of class, it just gets old.



Can someone please explain to me what David Spade is doing dating the hottie of all hotties, Heather Locklear? Have times really gotten so tough that the blonde bombshell, whose list of ex-husbands includes both Tommy Lee and Bon Jovi guitarist Richie Sambora, has no choice but to date Joe Dirt? I mean, I'm sure Spade gained a lot of sex appeal after his poignant performance in that Dickie Roberts movie a few years ago, but is there really no one else willing to date Ms. Locklear? Did she suddenly contract a contagious disease that no one outside of Hollywood is aware of? Even so, I'd stop writing this column right now if she'd have me. Don't get me wrong. My shock at Locklear's choice of boyfriend is not to be taken as an attack on Spade. It should be obvious that the former star of NBC's Just Shoot Me has my and every other man in the world's admiration.

Regardless of how confusing their relationship may be, Spade's ability to land Locklear as his potential bride gives hope to just about every American male who's never going to be a rock star or professional athlete. But such a surprising pairing naturally leads men to question everything they've been taught about dating and opens the door to a whole new way of thinking when it comes to women. Maybe I don't have to learn how to throw a football to get a hot girlfriend. Would Angelina Jolie consider adopting me? Maybe Jessica Alba secretly has a thing for college newspaper writers. Okay, so that last one might be a long shot, but the point is anything seems possible when one of Hollywood's hottest blondes says yes to a date with an actor whose most recent role was playing opposite Rob Schneider on a Little League baseball team.