After weeks of whining, my editors finally granted me permission to write a column on circumcisions. I even thought of a catchy headline: "Hood in Your Hood?" It was going to be great, and boy, would everyone laugh and call me genius. I had it all planned out, but when I sat down to write my column, I couldn't exactly think of 800 words on the subject at hand. No pun intended.So I turned to something I could write an entire book on: The elusive gray area of dating.

A wise man once said that everything isn't just black and white. Of course he said that, because he was a man. Everyone knows that dating should be nothing but black and white. Once you hit those various shades of gray, you're in for trouble. With no title, no solid commitment and no signs of improvement, the gray area can be a frustrating way to waste a few months with someone in a pseudo-relationship. When it's over and done with, one is often left with a broken heart, a headache and a long list "why's?." For example, "Why didn't she ever kiss me in public?" "Why did he confess his undying love for me but refuse to introduce me to his parents?" and "Why did she give me genital warts?" are common questions one may ask themselves or their therapist after a long, dark journey into the gray.

So how do you know if you've gone gray? Usually, you don't, that's why you're reading this. Let us say, for instance, that you and your good friend hooked up a few times. Maybe you act like a card-carrying couple behind the scenes, but play dumb in the quad. Hell, why don't we suppose the two of you even go out on dinner dates and sexile a roommate twice a week. If you thought I was actually referring to your current relationship, you might be in the gray area. Let me go out on a limb and assume that this sort of affair bares no label. This, my dear readers, is the gray shadow of relationship death.

With no title, you have to assume the other person is cheating or not cheating just as much as you are. Plus, there is usually no set definition of cheating, which can lead to all sorts of erogenous trouble. Some cynics claim that they prefer not to put a title on their relationship because it forces emotions into a set societal standard of what love and sex is. That's just a lie (most often told to first-year girls) so they can sleep around. When talking about your partner in the gray, you have to call them awful phrases like "significant other," "person I'm seeing," or "fuck-buddy."

Once you're in the gray area, it's hard to get out. To some, it becomes comfortable, like a dirty sock that smells a lot but has molded itself to fit every contour of your foot so you wear it anyway because, goddamnit, you love that sock. To others, the gray area is safe. Taking a risk and making a change is difficult, not unlike peeling off a dirty, dirty sock. Controversy in a relationship can be scary to a person deeply in like and making waves can be pretty terrifying if you're afraid of rocking the boat.

It's not uncommon for one party of the relationship to want to lessen the romantic interplay, while the other is registering for wedding presents at Bloomingdale's. Just because two people have amazing chemistry, an ideal sex life and similar interests doesn't mean they are both looking for the same thing at whatever stage of their life they're in. Ladies, remember that men are years behind us on the maturity spectrum. Gentlemen, remember to change your socks from time to time.

Unfortunately, it's hard to realize the painstakingly obvious when you have blinders on. Once in the gray area, people tend to ignore all the warning signs and naively believe the relationship is "going somewhere." And if "going somewhere" is the place where all the leftover Sherman food goes when it's past it's prime, then that's absolutely correct.

If you find yourself wallowing in the gray, don't fret. After all, this is college, where we finally learn to assert ourselves and define who we are. As the divine love-god himself, Meatloaf, sings, "I would do anything for love, but I won't do that." He was talking about the gray area, so don't do that. No, don't do that.