How many times has this happened to you?You're watching your favorite band live from the lawn seats when suddenly some crazed hippie in front of you starts dancing around like a dirty snow pigeon. Arms are flailing, legs are kicking and eyes are closed in what one might refer to as spiritual rapture. You try to move a little, but the psycho dancer just can't help but convulse directly in your line of sight. Even when the set ends, Sir Grooves-a-Lot keeps on grooving. By the end of the night, your neck hurts more than usual and you want to throw a brick at that stupid hippie's face.

Concert etiquette may be one area of respect that Miss Manners neglected to inform her curious public about over the years. Although mind-numbingly obvious to some concert-goers, others have less trouble understanding the concept of "ruining it for everyone else." Some of these sad individuals are novices, while others have been bringing down concert experiences for years. Some of them might even be you, faithful readers, so read carefully.

Maybe we should start with something very small but highly consequential: Do not, under any circumstances, wear a shirt that bares any association to the band you are seeing. If you are going to see the Foo Fighters, don't wear a Foo Fighters shirt, and don't wear a Nirvana shirt. Don't embarrass yourself by wearing a day-glo tie-dye shirt from the mid-80s either.

Comfortable shoes are a must. Ladies, stay away from heels, and gentlemen, stay away from anything remotely loafer-esque. While some people are hard-pressed to wear anything but closed toed shoes, I think your favorite, durable pair of sandals will work well in warm weather. Birkenstocks aren't mandatory, but certainly make the overall experience better for your feet, at least.

Don't wander around the parking lot smiling at the lovely ticket holders while holding up your index finger and expecting people to know you want "one miracle." If you wanted a ticket, you should have bought a ticket like everyone else. While we're on the parking lot, frisbee is not always a good idea when you're tailgating. Many a headlight has been broken during a poor attempt at Ultimate during the pre-concert extravaganza.

When feasting behind your car, pack a wide variety of beverages and snacks. Be prepared to share, and always bring plastic cups to pour your drinks in. Parking lot police enjoy giving out tickets to underage drinkers, so be on the look out for the patrolling scooters or have your ID handy. Be sure not to get too trashed before you get inside the actual concert. Blacking out is a drag-you won't remember much, and your friends will have to drag your sorry butt out of the venue when it's over.

If you plan on doing drugs, bring your own. No one likes a scavenger who smells the cheebah and shuffles through seats to get in on the cypher. Sometimes it's actually polite to pass on grass.

Don't overcharge people for that knotted piece of string some regard as hemp jewelry. It's cheap string and a few beads, let's not go crazy, OK? And please, please please, pleeeeeeeeease shower. Please. Deodorant is also a nice touch.

I don't care if Bon Jovi is playing your favorite power ballad. Put your lighter away. No one does that anymore. It's of poor taste and only results in charred hair and lawsuits. Keep your cigarettes at an appropriate position, as well. Most people want a T-shirt as a keepsake from a concert, not a burn on their arm because you couldn't resist waving around your half lit Marlboro.

If you're tall, don't even bother showing up to a concert at all. Or, if you really must, go stand in the back with the rest of the social misfits.

Shut up. We all know the lyrics, and we're didn't come to hear you sing them. If you feel compelled to sing along, for God's sake do it quietly. Unless the singer has the microphone turned to the audience and everyone's shouting along with the music, keep it to yourself.

Last, but certainly not least, keep awkward dancing to a minimum. It's beyond embarrassing. It's annoying, distracting and a good way to ruin a show for everyone else. I don't care if you're "floating with the music" or "feelin' the rhythm go through your soul." If you're going to dance, at least do it in front of the tall people, because that's what they get for being tall.

Concerts are a lot of money and a lot of fun-if you do them right. Be sure to follow the guidelines to careful concert etiquette, and don't ever bring earplugs. Earplugs are for losers.