Frisbee games, jean skirts, painted naked people. It looks as though spring has finally arrived at Brandeis, only weeks past our crudely misnamed spring break. Unfortunately, Waltham weather is even less reliable than the BranVan. If you're about done with your bulky winter coat and hat, here are some suggestions how to have a great spring - with or without the consent of the weather.First off, ditch the socks. So what if the weather calls for snow? Be a rebel and think flip-flops. They go with everything, including your mold-infected shower. Or better yet, go barefoot. And make sure you don't forget to paint your toenails a heinous shade of purple.

Once your toes can breathe, the next step is to get rid of that pasty winter complexion. Nothing is more fun than spreading out a blanket in the center of Rabb and watching your buddies go to class while you lay sprawled out sipping a liquid lunch.

Use "IN THE PIZOOL" as your away message while you're at class. When you return to your computer, inform all your friends of how well your diving is coming along.

If you have a surplus of points, start buying out all the Ben and Jerry's ice cream you can. With only about a month of the semester left, there's just enough time to sample every flavor of ice cream the C-Store has to offer. If you're feeling gutsy, why not tackle the sorbet while you're at it?

Form a conga line while waiting for your Caesar salad at Usdan.

The Liquid Latex craze may be over, but there's no need to feel blue. Try painting yourself with hi-lighter, or carefully scotch taping the Justice to yourself. It's not only a good read, but it's light and comfortable, too. While your professors admire your appreciation of fine journalism, you'll be giggling over the crazy hijacks of this week's "Unnatural Triple" during another boring lecture.

Leave MTV's "Spring Break" on mute all day, crank up Dean Martin's "Mambo Italiano" and write your paper in a bathing suit. Be sure to blast the free heat and keep your windows open and fan on. When you finish your paper, award yourself with a dip in Yackus Pond.

Put pink mini umbrellas in your Sherman drinks.

Bring a towel and an umbrella to your seminar. Wear goggles, a stripe of zinc on your nose and a shiny whistle. Apply sunscreen during class, and when your professor asks you a question, ask him if he'd like you to do his shoulders.

Forget Frisbee; get a group of rambunctious first years together and start a game of strip-capture-the-flag. Tell them that it's tradition, like Pachanga, only with less music.

Share your spring excitement with everyone! I hear Walgreen's has water guns. Won't your friends be happily surprised to be sprayed silly on their way to class? Water balloons also work nicely, especially if dropped off the roofs of particularly tall residence halls.

Remember the essential sunglasses before you think spring. And don't listen to those trendy fashion magazines, Aviator glasses are in this year. Trust me.

- Lindsay Kaplan '06 submits a column to the Justice.