ABC must really be stuck for ratings. Since "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" finally ran out of steam, the network has been desperate to stay competitive with NBC and CBS, especially on must-see Thursdays, when NBC stalwarts "Friends" and "Will and Grace" have been duking it out against CBS upstarts "Survivor" and "CSI."So, following the ratings success of recent reality shows "The Bachelor," "Joe Millionaire" and "American Idol," ABC decided to add a Thursday-night reality series to its own line-up: "Are you hot? The search for America's sexiest people."

I first read about this show on the Internet about a week before its Feb. 13 premiere. I think my first reaction was to nearly spit out the Coke I was drinking. Had television really sunk so low? I mean, I knew pregnancy scares had finally hit "The Real World" and that dating shows like "Elimidate" were showing steamy threesomes. But, was our culture really shallow enough to have a show called "Are you hot?"

Apparently so. In preparation for writing this column, I made a major sacrifice -- I skipped "Will and Grace" and "Scrubs" last Thursday in order to screen ABC's new show.

In some ways, "Are you hot?" was the most pathetic hour of television I've seen -- worse than the time I flipped through and could have sworn I saw underwater basket-weaving in Albanian on Scola. In other ways, however, its honesty was quite refreshing.

Host J.D. Roberto introduced the episode by saying, "We're the show that believes talent is completely overrated. You think you can sing? We don't care. You think you can dance or tell jokes? So what? All we want to know is one thing -- are you hot?"

This is quite obviously a dig at "American Idol," a show that admittedly makes audience members watch hours of poor performances when most of the contest is about simple aesthetics anyway.

Thirty-two contestants (16 of each sex) are present at the beginning of each episode, and they initially stand beneath a Hot sign and a Not sign to be judged by a B-list celebrity panel. The 16 who are chosen to advance change into swimsuits and are judged on a scale of 1-10 on their face, body and overall sex appeal.

The judges were hardly kind, but, as they made clear, competition to be named the hottest man or woman in America is stiff. Any layer of flab or facial imperfection was harshly criticized and graded down. Judges criticized one woman's knees, and she quickly retorted that she'd been hit by a 16-wheeler months earlier and was lucky she could walk again. Still, points were deducted for slight scars.

In the end, four men and four women from this episode's region (the Southeast) were chosen to advance. An Internet vote on the ABC Web site will eliminate half of those prior to next week's episode. In the end, after shows from four regions of the country air, a final show will decide who are truly the hottest man and woman in the country.

The "Hot or Not" phenomenon is hardly new. The Web site www.hotornot.com has been in operation for a few years, allowing any person worldwide to submit a photo and be judged comparatively on a 1-10 point scale. In fact, the founders of that Web site are considering suing ABC because they feel they have the rights to the "Hot or Not" game.

On some level, humans are always judging characteristics competitively. Aesthetics are one of the more subjective things to judge; watching the show, I felt some of those named "Not" were much more attractive than those deemed "Hot." Unless I'm simply an incredible egotist (a definite possibility), I think most people tend to wonder how they stack on a comparative attractiveness scale, if one existed. No more need to wonder, I suppose. All I have to do is compete for a slot on ABC's show and see whether I make the cut!

Like the creators of "The Anna Nicole Show," I can hardly blame ABC for putting such trash on television. After all, even if it didn't pull-in the heavyweight "CSI" or "Will and Grace" ratings, it did place third out of six networks on Feb. 13 and fourth on Feb. 20, when FOX aired a Michael Jackson documentary special. ABC is simply working its capitalist magic and trying to remain competitive in the Nielsen game.

As long as "Are you hot?" helps the network remain hot, it will continue to be a Thursday-night factor. Yet, next week, I'll return to watching Grace and Karen face off on NBC's "Will and Grace." No one does a put-down like martini-swigging Karen. And, in my book, her coldness is pure, refreshing entertainment of the traditional, non-reality kind, making it much hotter than a certain competing show on ABC.