I sat down recently with the student band SDR. The boys are riding high off their recent "Cave Rave performance." justArts: So you guys have any crazy stories from practices?
Landon: No, we don't have any stories.
Allen: So we're in practice, and there's quite a lot of homosexual tendencies in this band. It's not really gay sh*t. It's just Jeff and Andrew are really open about themselves.
Myerson: But, you don't know what Keith was doing.
Allen: Jeff and Andrew are being all funny and Andrew's sitting down and he's doing the thing from "Big Daddy" where he's spitting and sucking it back it, and he's drooling. He's got ADD so he gets really excited when it comes to normal things. Jeff comes and he sees that Andrew's doing that, and Andrew can't pay any attention, and Jeff spits on his head.
Tornheim: I didn't spit, I was doing the drooling thing but then I just dropped it.
Allen: The spit's just on his head. And, Andrew has no idea that the spit's there, he's walking around doing all kinds of things, until I spit on his head also. At which points Drew spits on me.
Myerson: At which point we tackle Jeff.
Landon: I just want to know who pulled down whose pants.
Allen: We're not at that point in the story yet. So, we pulled Jeff's pants down a tad, and Andrew spits in his ass crack. He tossed his f*cking salad!
Myerson: No tossing of salad happened. The crack was shown, and I hocked a loogie in it.
Tornheim: It did not happen.
justArts: So, that's what goes on at practices?
Steckel: I just sit there and laugh, I don't even bother getting up anymore
Landon: Me and Dan just watch.
Myerson: Well there's the music too. Is that cake, b*tch?
Landon: I thought you were losing weight?
Myerson: 238.5 pounds. I've lost seven pounds in the last f*cking week, man.
Landon: 238.5!
justArts: For what?
Allen: For being fat!
Myerson: For Miss Eastern Massachusetts, My friend is Sophia Moon '02, Miss Eastern Massachusetts.
justArts: Have you hooked up with her?
Myerson: Wow. Sophia Moon is a very, very pretty girl, but no, she's got a very nice boyfriend - good guy.
Allen: But Sophia Moon wouldn't sing with us on "Knocking On Heaven's Door" at Culture X.
Myerson: Culture X was our best show.
justArts: When SDR breaks itself down, it's Sex, Drugs, Rock 'n' roll. Who gets the most sex?
Landon: I do.
Allen: Adam does, because he has a steady girlfriend.
justArts: Hands down?
Allen: Hands down. Adam gets the most sex.
justArts: Who does the most drugs?
Landon: We had a conversation about this. When we make it big, who's gonna do what drugs first. I'm probably gonna one night not pay attention, take my Aderol, get real drunk and then pass out. But, it'll be dramatic and it'll be on VH1.
Steckel: Jeff does the most drugs.
Allen: Jeff.
Landon: Jeff and who else?
Allen: Jeff and Jeff.
Tornheim: I do less drugs, but I've done a lot more drugs.
Steckel: My drug of choice is alcohol.
Allen: I think all of our drug of choice is alcohol.
Steckel: There was one point when I was drinking half a bottle of vodka every other weekend.
justArts: How do you guys feel about Gordon's Vodka?
Allen: Gordon's Vodka - my parent's drink that sh*t. White trash. Me too man, white trash. I'm the most white trash.
justArts: Do you guys find that now that you're in a band you get more girls than before?
Myerson: Absolutely. But, seriously It's recockulous, how much more p*ssy is possible. Possible P*ssy Payments. The PPP, I learned that in Econ. Professor (Michael) Coiner (ECON) comes to all of our shows. He's the man.
Tornheim: The girls are pretty silly.
justArts: But, that's not why you do it?
Landon: We actually do it all for Professor Coiner.
Allen: No, that's definitely not why we do it.
justArts: Who writes all the songs?
Allen: I'd say musically, it's a general mixture.
Tornheim: Keith's written most of the lyrics.
Myerson: I've written one song.
Tornheim: The stuff that comes up is definitely not written by me.
Allen: The triangle of love, for creating beautiful masterpieces would have to be Daniel, myself and Adam.
Tornheim: When stuff comes down to practice, we all have a say as to how it goes. Except for Drew cause he's never there.
Myerson: In my defense, I'm a sh*tty songwriter.
justArts: I've seen Keith rap, do you guys rhyme a lot in your free time?
Landon: MC White and Goofy.
Allen: I have two hip-hop albums out.
justArts: Seriously?
Myerson: The rest of us don't, though.
Landon: Yeah, he writes all the beats too.
justArts: So, do you guys sit around and freestyle ever?
Landon: Here's the thing, every time Keith freestyles he tends to talk about butt-sex.
justArts: I'm sensing a lot of homosexual, and not necessarily in undertones. That's cool that you guys are so confident in your sexualities. Do you guys ever seriously hook up?
Myerson: I've got a girlfriend on the side . so you know . yeah.
Tornheim: No you don't.
Allen: Yeah, no, I'm definitely not gay.
Myerson: I love women.
justArts: What direction do you see SDR moving in the next year?
Landon: West.
justArts: Why are so many Brandeis bands so sucky?
Allen: Josh Chappie '03.
Myerson: Let me go over Chappie. Now, keep in mind that we love Shortbus. We have no beef with Shortbus.
Landon: He introduced himself to me as "the one and only Josh Chappie."
Tornheim: We just wanted to set up soundcheck and leave, and he had us sit there while they had a f*cking practice. I had a test, he had a test. We didn't get to eat. And, the whole time he's just being incredibly condescending.
justArts: So, Josh Chappie has hijacked the Brandeis music scene?
Allen: I believe we've hijacked the music scene from Chappie. But, he had full grasp on it.
Landon: We really like the rest of Shortbus, though. They're good guys.
Myerson: Good guys, good musicians.
justArts: How much do you guys practice?
Myerson: Between three and four times a week.
justArts: How many originals do you have?
Allen: Seven originals.
justArts: How many covers?
Tornheim: Well that depends on what we feel like playing. At a show we keep it down.
Steckel: We generally keep a ratio of 2:1 At the show the other day we played three covers and two originals.
Allen: Obviously, we don't take ourselves seriously enough to believe that people want to come see us just for our songs, we wanna play songs that people can listen to like "Livin' On A Prayer" and "Knocking On Heaven's Door."
justArts: What would you say if someone came to you and said, "We want a Guns 'n' Roses cover band?"
Myerson: Hell, f*cking no, man.
Allen: Why not?
Myerson: I'll tell you why not.
Landon: Cause you can't learn the lyrics.
Myerson: That was low.
Landon: So no, Guns 'n' Roses is fun to play, but .
Tornheim: I feel like most of us are interested in developing ourselves as musicians and putting our own stuff out there.
Myerson: At the same time, Keith and Dan are obsessed with Axel Rose.
Steckel: Slash is the man. There's just no way around it.
Allen: Hey, that's why we started this band.
justArts: That's my interview.
Allen: We're not gay.
Myerson: We're gonna get in so much sh*t with Trisk for this crap. Gay people are 10 times cooler than straight people.