OP-ED: Cut foreigners some slack; they'll return the favor
Of late, the issue of cultural interaction has pre-occupied my thoughts. Foreign nationals often carry a different set of mannerisms with them when they arrive here in the United States. I am not referring to their viewpoints-I am concerned with the particular way they behave. These differences in behavior come in the way of interaction and relationships, causing latent tension and often making people feel uncomfortable. I feel most people don't understand the reason for this. While foreigners should then respect the local norms in the United States, Americans should respect the way they behave in return, as well as understand the delicate nature of interactions with others. These mannerisms should be appreciated along with more outwardly manifestations of culture, such as food or dress.This is a subtle issue, one that has not received much attention in the ongoing diversity debate. I remember an acquaintance of mine self-righteously lecturing me on how Americans were very "straightforward" but also "very polite." I don't wish to create crass stereotypes, but I want her to know what happened when I met an American in Paris last year. I asked this American for directions in broken French. He figured out I was a native English-speaker, and said rather arrogantly in English, "Sorry, I do not speak French." He was ostensibly making fun of my makeshift French, but then went on and said pretty much the same thing in French! In any case, I did not get directions. This goes to show that a lot of Americans tend to get very offended if people do not behave the same way they do. I feel this is just cultural arrogance on the part of many Americans, not to mention the way they flout the norms of other countries. However, the flipside to this is that people abroad must allow sufficient leeway to Americans when they are traveling abroad, understanding their unique cultural behavior. Some cultures, for example, allow pushy and forceful behavior. I met a rather friendly girl while touring the Vatican in Rome. She was advertising for a Chinese restaurant and wanted me to eat there. My intent, of course was to eat authentic Italian lasagna while I was in Italy. She told me the way to get to her restaurant, and I took the leaflet she had and said that I might go. She didn't stop, however, and clarified the directions by waving her hands. She went on; she took me by the hand and told me she would take me to the Chinese restaurant herself. I was becoming slightly uncomfortable-I almost had to shout out "no!" and walk away. This pushy behavior did not strike me as odd because it's a characteristic of many cultures-one that probably would not work here-but maybe it should be interpreted and understood as such. It should be tolerated, not shunned. That doesn't mean, however, that foreigners in a country should behave as if they can do as they wish. They have to adapt as best as they can-which means adjusting to mannerisms and norms here while not giving up that which they consider most important to themselves and their identities. Thus, given the extreme choices between completely surrendering one's identity to fit in with the surrounding environment and demanding everyone speak one's language, it is a fine line that must be drawn. It is a process of negotiation that goes on between the individual and the surrounding environment. What is important is that it is not just the individual who needs to compromise-the people around him or her should try to understand this different set of mannerisms, and tolerate them as far as possible. Anthropological studies show that the majority comprising the environment are not prepared to negotiate like this in the least because ethnocentrism is a highly common, perhaps even natural, way of being, and this is highly unfair to foreign individuals. Anthropologists have actually studied the issue of different cultural mannerisms for years, but having a PhD in anthropology does not guarantee one will become more tolerant of others, although I was assured by Prof. Sarah Lamb (ANTH) that this is usually the case. Yet I think that cross-cultural sensitivity is a skill that can be learned, and thus should be taught in classes as part of the overall diversity initiative, given that Brandeis includes pluralism and diversity among its pillars. Business management and M.B.A. programs did not appear until the 1930s-there was and is an assumption that upper level management skills could only be acquired with experience, much like tolerance-but these management skills are nonetheless taught in business schools all around the world. There is potential, then, for aspects of cultural behavior to be taught and explained with the course goal being greater tolerance. Nevertheless, M.B.A. students with no work experience have a difficult time in their management skill classes. The same difficulty can be expected in these tolerance courses. It is also difficult to imagine how students would be assessed in these courses, and what values a letter grade would represent. However, any solution to cultural intolerance is, by nature, extremely open-ended and fraught with challenges. In any case, an attempt can be made and debate can be started. I feel that both sides in cross-cultural interaction-the foreign individual and the people comprising the environment around the individual-have a duty to understand the other and be as hospitable and welcoming as possible. Within this realm it is possible to see one's behavior as an innate assumption of correctness, one that is a narrow band of behavior among the spectrum of possible behaviors. Also, the instant negative stereotyping of people, including Americans, based on their behavior must be resisted. People should be given a complete chance to prove themselves as good-natured and well-meaning.These changes can be implemented; all it takes is the will to do it. Over a decade ago, I was in Baghdad, and having visited a market, I was rather surprised with the apparent crudeness with which people spoke. I thought it was rude, and took offense. Now I realize that is just the way people there communicate. It is a learning process. I learned to accept Iraqi mannerisms, and I would hope they would learn to accept mine. For example, back home in the hot and dusty street markets of Karachi one is expected to bargain with retailers. For most Pakistanis it is very important-people save huge sums of money this way. Foreigners need not be too concerned because it's just a way of life there-experience it, learn something new, and have fun-haggling in Pakistani markets is like totally cool, dude. I just wish my Pakistani brethren wouldn't rip my American counterparts off! They should be more understanding of American cultural values and try to accommodate them.