The shamelessly underpaying, obesity-encouraging establishment Americans know and love, McDonald’s is known for many things: low prices, quick food and unmatched elegance —  or that is what the people behind the Big Mac want us to think at least.

Mickey D’s latest business venture is not finding more somewhat-edible parts of a chicken to put into its nuggets but rather, updating its brand. 

Crazy as it seems, the homespun land of fries and McFlurries is trying to reinvent itself as a “modern progressive burger company,” according to a May 4, 2015 NPR article. Quite possibly the first time progressive has ever existed in a sentence about a company still churning out products bursting with trans-fat and cholesterol, this facelift is not only bizarre but also woefully desperate. 

Beginning in 1940, the fast food joint has made its mark on the country as the premier location for an instantaneous package of grease and only upped its popularity a few decades later with its drive-thru accessibility. 

With such established success stemming from doling out cheap, processed food, it is wildly confusing that McDonald’s is attempting to redefine itself. Yes, people in the 21st century are realizing that, mind bogglingly, eating healthily might benefit them, but the entrenched entity of McDonald’s is not the place to participate in the trend.

According to a Nov. 4, 2015 article in Business Insider,  McDonald’s UK’s food development director, Duncan Cruttenden, stated,  “[Our customers] told us they wanted thicker beef patties and high quality ingredients, freshly prepared.” Essentially, this means that consumers have decided it might be a good idea to put food designed for humans in their bodies. 

Because of Cruttenden’s findings, the new plan posed by the restaurant is thick burgers served on brioche buns, ideally made with actual ingredients. But due to the difference in quality, customers will now have to wait for their food rather than simply ordering a number nine and paying their two dollars.

While the CEOs of McDonald’s are understandably trying to get with the times, the idea of waiting is foreign to fast food fanatics, and this causes the company to lose one of its most identifiable characteristics. According to a June 21 article in the Huffington Post, some customers in the drive-thru window report being instructed to pull into a parking space and wait for their burgers. This is a direct result of McDonald’s decision to sell made-to-order sandwiches. One such patron, Tracy Moore, said, “If it’s going to be that long every time, I won’t order it. I’d go elsewhere.”

The latest strategy of “high-end burgers” is only one of the corporation’s recent attempts at revamping its brand. In 2004, McDonald’s introduced the incredibly short-lived “Go Active!” Adult Happy Meals featuring a salad, bottled water and a pedometer, according to a May 11, 2004 CNN article. When this campaign was not received well by adults, the company attempted to reintroduce pedometers in 2016 by including them in children’s Happy Meals, only to have to pull the pedometers after complaints of skin irritations. According to an Aug. 19, 2016 CNN article, a young boy was burned by his pedometer within eight minutes of wearing it, causing McDonald’s to once again terminate their campaign. 

McDonald’s efforts at modernization have not only isolated its customers but also distanced the franchise from what made it itself. Despite its effect on its workers and the ever-increasing national weight of America, McDonald’s is a unique staple in our country, and it would be hard to imagine life without it.

By transforming itself to better fit in with the slew of more progressive companies, McDonald’s has attempted to bury what propelled it to fame, instead pushing the notion that it, too, can be modern.

The company is trying to emerge from the dead with some relatively health-conscious decisions and layout renovations, but in the process, it is only confusing and frustrating its longtime customers. 

McDonald’s should stick to what it knows best, and actual high-end restaurants should do the same. Even if a significant portion of people today are deciding to consume food that will not give them diabetes, there will always be that one group who keeps coming back for more greasy grub. Although McDonald’s popularity may be decreasing, there are still almost 37,000 locations worldwide according to a Jan. 23 Inc. article. 

America’s number-one fast food locale has had a long history of ups and downs, but ultimately, if McDonald’s keeps churning out McRibs and maybe even some McSalads, we will continue to pull up in our cars, stick our hands in the drive-thru window and eat more food that is surely McKilling us.