Since when is "awkward" the new hip? When you think about it, there's really nothing hip about stumbling over your words and generally not knowing how to interact with others. Still, the romantic concept of the awkward has taken over popular culture, television shows, even the Brandeis campus. And as someone who identifies closely as an awkward person, I have taken this phenomenon very seriously, dedicating as much as a few hours to pondering its popularity.After doing minimal to no research, I decided that the awkward sensation originated with the television show "Freaks and Geeks," where the audience was invited to fall in love with these poster children of awkwardness. The awkward phenomenon was prolonged by characters such as Seth Cohen on "The OC" and Rory Gilmore on "The Gilmore Girls." When two awkward people are together, it's as though their awkwardness cancel each other out; a double negative, if you will. However, in the event that an awkward meets a non-awkward, things can get shaky rather rapidly. I have developed many methods of extricating myself from such situations, as I am frequently confronted by "non-awkwards" who don't know exactly what to do with me. Here are a few examples of the most common situations and some helpful tips to make the awkward moment a little easier for everyone involved:



Cease and desist

The number one rule to banishing awkwardness is to state its presence. I feel that once all parties involved in an awkward situation acknowledge its existence, it ceases to exist. This is made easier by all sorts of hand gestures and songlike chants. One I've often encountered is something called the "awkward turtle," when you place one hand over the other and wiggle your fingers, all the while chanting the words "awkward turtle" over and over. Another more commonly-used method to move on from an uncomfortable moment is for bystanders to glance furtively at each other and say ".awkward." in a drawn-out fashion, insinuating the ellipses with their intonation. And one fun tip I picked up from a friend is to be used only in the direst of situations. If the level of discomfort reaches the point where you have no choice but to vanish from the scene, there are two things you can do, depending on the level of unease. The lesser of the two is to announce the word "abort" to the people around you. Saying "abort" supposedly erases everything that just happened from everyone's memory. In the event that there is no cleaning of the slate, one can also say "eject" and simply run away, taking with them any and all evidence of prior awkwardness.



The encounter with someone you know but never officially met, and other minor incidents

Another similar situation we've all encountered is how to look cool after thinking someone waved at you, and then realizing you were wrong, but not before you wave back. One way to remedy this in the immediate aftermath is to either rapidly bring your hair down to scratch your head or fix your hair, or pretend to be adjusting your sleeve, or checking your watch. A variation on this is when you think someone calls out your name and you respond, but the caller wasn't actually talking to you; not an infrequent experience for anyone blessed with the name "Rachel" on this campus. This can be fixed by using the aforementioned method of pretending to be talking to someone else also.



The hard-to-read handshake

Handshakes can be a battle for those of us afflicted with awkward inclinations. If the person approaching you, hand outstretched, has decided to opt for a mere single pump, then you are in the shade: grip, pump, loosen and release. There isn't much room for error. Occasionally, however, depending on the enthusiasm of the shaker, a given handshake can go on for multiple pumps. I always find myself pumping in the opposite direction, or just slightly off beat, resulting in an uncomfortable rhythm that can't seem to stop. This is unfortunate because I've found that your character is generally judged by how confident your handshake is.

Among peers, usually males, it is common to encounter the "cool" handshake, where rather than extending an arm in a formal manner, the executer bends his arm up at the elbow and splays it out, hand open, fingers spread. You are then expected to slap it, leave your hand there and do some sort of sliding, snapping, punching combination. I'm personally never quite sure what to do, so I always stick to the low-key finger slide and snap.



The sidewalk shuffle

It happens to everyone: You're approaching a stranger walking from the other direction and to avoid bumping into him, you move to the right, to let him pass on the left. But at that very moment, the opposing member moves to his left, which is your right. Both parties freeze for a fleeting moment before pivoting to the other side, and so on, resulting in what appears to be moving from side-to-side in front of a mirror. I am especially bad at these situations, and seem to have a predilection for mimicking the exact movement of the person on the opposing side. One would think I could use these powers for good rather than evil and anticipate the enemy's next move, therefore acting appropriately and moving to the other side. Unfortunately I don't, and find the best way to remedy the situation is to laugh at it, or make a witty remark like, "Great minds think alike," or just make a weird noise a-la Howard Dean, with the intention of distracting the other person and slipping away while they don't notice. One close friend of mine regaled me with the tale of an especially awful case of the "sidewalk shuffle," during which he physically collided with the other person, after a drawn out back and forth shuffling. He eventually was forced to grab her by the shoulders and gently nudge her to one side, but not before he muttered the words, "This is truly awful." Try at your own risk.