"It felt like I was chewing on glass. Every time he talked, I felt like someone was crushing me."This is how a Brandeis senior described her experience sitting in the same classroom as a student who she believes had raped her a week before. The moment this senior-my friend-walked out of class that day, she went straight to the campus police to file a report. She realized that after days of crying and not leaving her room, this-and he-were not going away.

Since then, she says she has dropped the class. She has also considered dropping out of Brandeis. This is because since then, this student says she secured a "no contact" order from the campus police (which prohibits the accused from having any contact with her), brought her case to the University Board of Student Conduct (UBSC), filed a report with campus police, sought medical attention and psychological counseling and has spoken to a victims' advocate at the Middlesex County District Attorney's Office. Yet somehow, despite this by-the-book brave response, since then, "it's been months and the only one affected is me," she says.

I wish I could tell you more about the story, but because the UBSC won't officially confirm the outcome of her case, or even that her case occurred, I cannot do so. At the end of each academic year, summaries of the hearings are usually available online; this does not help now.

But e-mails from the Office of the Dean of Student Life, provided by the victim, indicate she is to be alerted ahead of time when the accused student will be on campus for purposes other than attending class, and that he is otherwise prohibited from being on campus except for legitimate, academic-related reasons that the administration preapproves. This clearly indicates sanctions of some kind being imposed upon the accused.

I also can't tell you anything about the criminal proceedings, because the District Attorney's office has yet to bring criminal charges against the accused. The accused and his lawyer have also declined to speak, citing privacy concerns.

THE PRECEDENT

This student's story, however, is not unprecedented.

I spoke to a member of the Class of 2005, who provided documentation indicating that the UBSC heard her case in the fall of 2003. This alumna says her then-boyfriend forced sexual intercourse on her without consent. The victim says the accused was found "responsible" for sexual misconduct, and the sanction recommended by the board was an immediate suspension of the responsible student that would remain in place until the girl graduated.

UBSC members say they make decisions on a case-by-case basis, and there are no standard responses to sexual misconduct, which includes, but is not limited to, accusations of rape. The UBSC cannot find a student responsible of "rape" because rape is a criminal offense. Brandeis does not have the resources or authority to address such a charge. Instead, the University is supposed to provide a timely response to policy violations, while criminal proceedings can drag out for years.

The former student says Dean of Student Life Rick Sawyer decided the sanction was too severe, since she would be going abroad the next semester, and there would be no risk of her seeing him. She says Sawyer told her the accused was not a danger to anyone on campus but her. She disagreed. The accused remained on campus the next semester, and the suspension was supposed to be enforced upon her return in the fall. But he appealed, on grounds unknown to the former student. The appeal hearing was never held because he took summer school and graduated early.

In the fall of her senior year when she returned, the former student says she saw him on campus twice in one mid-semester weekend. An administrator, she says, was supposed to send him a letter before school started, informing him that he was not allowed anywhere on campus-a University restraining order of sorts-but according to her, this letter was not sent until she demanded it, and by then it was too late. The rest of the year, her friends served as her primary protection, calling her whenever they saw him on campus.

When I asked Sawyer about this case and my friend's case, he declined to comment in order to protect the privacy of those involved.

THE PROBLEM

According to the National Crime Victim Survey, fewer than 5 percent of rapes are reported to the police. What is even more distressing than this statistic is that when a complaint is made, and a student does find the courage to seek justice, there is still no guarantee that proportional disciplinary action can be taken, or that victims will be made to feel safe on campus.

In response to such complaints, Sawyer assures he is interested in hearing from students who feel the system is unjust, but says that "we don't put people in jail. We can't." He explained that the University's jurisdiction is limited to the policies and values outlined in Rights and Responsibilities, and isn't a substitute for criminal proceedings and accountability.

According to Sawyer, in UBSC sexual misconduct cases in which the accused is found responsible, suspension is very often the outcome. Unlike suspension though, sanctions that require constant monitoring are difficult to manage, and according to Sawyer, are "not preferred." Restricting the accused from University activities or limiting access to areas on campus is much more difficult than enforcing suspension. Sawyer says he wants to hear from students who feel sanctions are not being carried out, and assures he will address issues in a timely and fair manner. Yet these two Brandeis students feel their complaints have not been adequately addressed.

THE REACTION

Months after the current Brandeis senior brought her case to the University's attention, she says she still has to avoid the walk from Rabb to Shapiro in fear of running into the accused. She has dropped most of her extracurricular activities and says she can barely handle going to classes. She doesn't feel sanctions are being effectively enforced, because she and others say they have seen him in places he is not supposed to be without her receiving prior or adequate notice.

"The best thing I got at Brandeis was very willing listeners. That's it," she says. She is already suffering emotionally-she feels like "just flesh, a shell"-she certainly shouldn't have to suffer because of the system as well.

If the UBSC exists to ensure the safety of victims, why are its sanctions seemingly so ineffective at providing protection? If it's logistically impossible to enforce certain sanctions, then why are they ordered at all? Why does my friend still not feel safe? Why did the Brandeis alumna feel her college experience was ruined, even after she sought justice and relief? Why should victims be encouraged to file reports, if this may only cause them more grief and resentment?

THE ARGUMENT

It is very true that incidents of sexual misconduct are difficult to prove and extremely challenging to adjudicate. It's not just a problem at our University. Lines are blurry, drugs and alcohol are often involved, the students usually know each other, and the accused may be a student of good standing. Yet despite the challenges, Brandeis makes it clear that no is no, that sex must be consensual.

Involved administrators assert their faith in the process and trust in the judgment of the student and faculty board members, who are trained in issues of rape, sexual assault and harassment. The board spends a significant amount of time deliberating on cases of sexual misconduct, and does its best, according to one board member, to get to "the point where the person we find responsible is punished in a way we feel meets the egregiousness of the action."

Yet, while the accused can appeal a decision, the accuser can't. For students who bring forth accusations and find the results unjust, there is little they can do except express their dissent to members of the administration who ultimately have the final say-and in some cases, it seems, ultimately don't listen.

At the very least, despite all the complications and justifications, sanctions agreed upon by both the administration and the UBSC should be effectively enforced. If they can not be, then we really need to reevaluate the system. Also, communication between the accuser and the administration must be improved.

Students need to feel that their concerns are made a priority.

Right now my friend feels they are not. Instead, she is completely disillusioned with a University that she says does a good job of looking like it cares but isn't doing enough to make sure she feels safe.

Editor's note: The opinions stated in this column are the opinions of the writer, and are not representative of the views of the Justice.