Mankind's demise began on Dec. 17, 1903 and took place in our very own country. The Wright brothers had no idea what they had unleashed upon the world. Sure, people warned them about tampering with nature; if man were meant to fly, he would be born with wings, they said. Of course, Americans have never listened to the voice of reason and plod on in the name of progress. They should have paid attention to the story of another fellow who tampered with nature-Dr. Frankenstein and his monster come to mind. In any event, the humble boys from Ohio certainly did revolutionize the world as we know it... for the worse.Before you can even get on an airplane, you need to pass through the travails of the dreaded airport. This results in an affliction of urban society, traffic.

If you survive the harrowing experiences of getting to and inside the airport, you have the pleasure of enduring even more lines and waiting. In order to reach the ticketing counter, you must stand in line behind countless nincompoops-people who never seem to be ready for the procedure they endured the last time they flew.
Following that patience-trying experience, there is an even more mind-numbing wait: the metal detectors. For some reason, for all our brilliance, humankind has yet to develop a more efficient way of making sure that there are no incredibly stupid people getting on the plane. The truly selfish nature of man rears its ugly head; people yell and gripe because, although there are still fifteen minutes until boarding, they complain that they will not make their flight.

I will grant these miscreants one point in their favor, and that is that the airport security policies are asinine. Simply put, the only skills needed to be a metal detector screener is the ability to make people do really unnecessary actions multiple times. Example one: taking shoes off. Secondly: random extra security screenings. It really makes me feel comfortable about my security on the plane when I am chosen for the random screening and the shady looking character in the trench coat and unkempt beard behind me is not.

Once you get through the nauseating experience just described, you board the plane. This long and tedious process again becomes overly complicated due to the involvement of boors. If people cannot get on a plane in a swift and timely manner, they deserve to be put in the cargo hold. Also, if they chose to ignore the carry-on specifications so their bags don't fit in the overhead compartment, the bags should be left behind. Simple as that.

Now that airlines have lowered prices and eliminated flight-change fees, air travel is even more accessible to the masses; great, longer lines. I say they should keep prices the same and invest the money they would have lost into making the food more edible and teaching flight attendants not to bump elbows with the drink carts.

Stupid Wright brothers. Before them and their infernal invention, travel was luxurious and carefree. All the time we spend waiting in line to board an airplane is time wasted, and that build up of wasted time will inevitably result in the demise of our civilization.