Reuben Posner '05 is the president of Hillel, the umbrella organization for 25 Jewish groups on campus. He was raised Orthodox. He keeps kosher. But recently, Posner has felt out of place at the Orthodox minyan, or prayer service.

"I don't really know where I want to be," he said. "I do go to [Orthodox services], and go most every Shabbat. The complication is that there is no place on this campus where I feel 100 percent comfortable."

Posner is one of many Jews at Brandeis who feel alienated, excluded or lost, even though they represent the religious majority on campus. Earlier this month, Posner explained this religious identity crisis in an awkwardly relevant setting--a sukkah. With branches as a roof, it is a temporary outdoor dwelling erected during Sukkot, the Jewish harvest festival.

"I bounce around a lot and, sometimes, I blame that on the fact that I'm Hillel President and I think that it's important for me to go to multiple services," Posner said. "But sometimes I think it's because I'm just confused."

Posner says his job as Hillel president has given him some of the spirituality that he does not find in services. But he still struggles with where he belongs religiously.

While most people estimate the percentage of Jews to be between 50 to 60 percent, and many say they have received this number from admissions, there is no official University statistic on the proportion of Jewish students. According to Dean of Admissions Deena Whitfield, the admissions department cannot measure the percentage because Brandeis uses the common application, which never asks students to disclose their religion.

The only indication comes from an annual survey given to first-year students. This year's survey had 51 percent of the class of 2008 indicating their religious affiliations; according to the survey, the class is roughly 55 percent Jewish. Based on the responses from the past four years, the Jewish population at Brandeis has ranged from 47 to 56 percent.



The sudden majority sensation

For many at Brandeis, the feeling is that almost the entire campus is Jewish. For both Jews and non-Jews, this is an accepted reality of attending a school known as "Jew U."-an epithet that ranges from pejorative to affectionate.

"I feel like everyone is Jewish," Elina Bravve '07 said. "I feel like it doesn't play a huge role [in my life] even though it's very noticeable. It's definitely what makes Brandeis Brandeis."

Emily Loubaton '05, president of the Brandeis Orthodox Organization (BOO), acknowledges that people may label Brandeis a "Jewish School" because many students choose to come here for the Jewish community. She says this doesn't transform the University into some "crazy Jewish environment."

In fact, Loubaton said, she often feels like a minority on campus.

"It's not like the University is catering to my every need," she said. While Brandeis canceled classes on most Jewish holidays this fall, class was in session during the second day of some holidays.

The sense of being a minority is more jarring, however, for non-Jewish students.

"They may be a minority or feel like they're a minority for the first time," said Larry Sternberg, the new executive director of Hillel at Brandeis. "And that most certainly has to not only be strange, it can be alienating."



In the eyes of the beholders

For every two Jews, the joke goes, there are three opinions. But even this ratio fails to account for the differences of opinion Jews at Brandeis hold about the nature of their community.

"Some people absolutely love it and think that it's perfect," said Daniel Linver, senior Jewish Campus Services Corps fellow." But, he says, others feel as though they are "left in the dust and like they have no real place."

Before she came to Brandeis, Lauren Apfelbaum '06, a coordinator of Brandeis Reform Chavurah (BaRuCH), heard from her friends already attending the University that the Jewish community was not accepting of non-observant Jews and that Reform Jews were marginalized within Hillel.

"I have found that that is not true, which is great," she said.

Still, stereotypes do exist, Apfelbaum said. Some see Reform Jews as not being Jewish. "They're secular, but they pretend," is how she described the generalization. She also said Orthodox Jews are viewed as closed-minded.

The Hillel administrators agreed that conflict arises within the community as a result of its tremendous diversity. Cindy Spungin, director of student activities for Hillel at Brandeis, described a conflict between catering to students who quickly find a niche and those who are less certain about where they belong.

"I think one of the things we do really well as an organized Jewish community is the denominational boxes," she said. "We do Reform, Conservative and Orthodox really well and so Jewish students who are one of those denominations ... quickly find their place." But students left out of the "denominational boxes" sometimes feel left out altogether, she said.

Sternberg said he believes the diversity within Hillel is downplayed because it is not immediately visible.

"There is much more diversity in [Hillel] clubs than might meet the eye. But since they get all umbrella-ed under one, it makes it seem [like] a much more monolithic reality than it is. And I think that is one of Hillel's challenges."

Some secular Jews say they are repelled by the impression that Hillel only promotes a more observant type of Judaism, according to Lianna Levine '06, president of the Brandeis University Conservative Organization (BUCO).

Posner believes most of the problems boil down to perception. His is different from other Jews on campus because of his leadership position.

"The people who aren't affiliated-who don't go to religious services-when they look at the active Jewish community, what they see-and it's a fair thing to see-is some kind of hulking, religious beast," he said.

"I can sit here from my vantage point and tell you the Jewish communities work really well together," he said. "But, to someone on the outside, all they're going to see is the Orthodox girls in the skirts not talking with them or clumping together. Or they're going to see the egalitarian Conservative minyan letting out on Friday afternoons and all of them walking to Sherman together in this entity that is so unwelcoming and this entity that, once they get into Sherman, [isn't] going to interact with the Orthodox students. Or they see the Reform students with their guitars not being accepted by the Orthodox and Conservative Jews. I mean, you see the noticeable things."



The other side of Sherman

Sherman, the only buffet style dining hall on campus, features a completely separate kosher kitchen, with informal seating boundaries demarcating a line between observant Jews and their other Brandeis peers.

"I totally see that [exclusivity in Sherman]. Sometimes I even see myself doing that, to be honest," Loubaton said. "It's really not such a complex issue the way people make it out to be. It's really just kind of a logistical problem; we need to eat [kosher] and we want to eat with our friends."

Spungin said that Sherman is an example of a regrettably common campus phenomenon: when one-time interactions-often a reflection of individuals' social skills-are projected onto the entire Jewish community.

For instance, students who do not keep kosher may be asked to move their trays or switch their silverware to uphold the kosher side's rules. That one brief interaction about using a different spoon, Spungin said, is then applied to every Jew on campus by the offended person who is now turned off to Judaism.

"If a student perceives they're not welcome in that space, then it becomes true," she said.



Tensions between the branches

Degrees of religious observance create natural groups, but can also cause tension between Jews on campus.

For Rabbi Allan Lehmann, Brandeis' Jewish chaplain and Hillel's Rabbinic Director, defining himself in terms of strict denominations stands in the way of being Jewish. He leads Conservative services for the High Holidays, but the rest of the time he floats between prayer groups.

"I'm much more interested in being Jewish than any [specific] branch," Lehmann said. "[The different services] are all places I want to be."

Joshua Arbesman '06, the religious life coordinator on the Hillel board, said that many students are "cultural Jews," those who identify as Jewish but do not participate in religious events. This creates a struggle between these Jews and the more spiritually active ones.

Levine said that she doesn't think students automatically reject others' viewpoints.

"It's just understanding what it means to have Jewish pluralism in a confined place," she said. "And I think we try to do that."

Others agree that members of the community are working toward shaping a welcoming environment, but say that they feel left out regardless. Apfelbaum believes the needs of the Reform community are sometimes neglected.

"We feel we should have our own rabbi," she said. "We've brought it up to Hillel and it's tough because they just brought in two new people, so I don't know if they are focusing on getting us a rabbi. It would help us a lot."

Apfelbaum also said that while she thinks the Hillel board wants to work together this year, BaRuCH sometimes feels pushed aside. "We're heard, but not listened to," she said.

She mentioned that at community-wide events, especially Shabbat dinner, Reform Jews can feel overwhelmed by unfamiliar songs and rituals. "I don't want to say people feel less Jewish, but it is an 'I should know this, but I don't' kind of thing."

Rachel Silverman '08, who was an active member of her Reform community back home and has become involved in BaRuCH, echoes some of Apfelbaum's concerns.

Silverman said that she attended BUCO's Sukkot services, since BaRuCH had none, but felt lost.

"I wasn't used to it and I didn't know anything that was going on, and they did all the prayers and stuff way too fast for me," Silverman said.

She said that no one purposely tried to exclude her; it just happened. This is a problem with which all the denominational leaders say they struggle. They want to be inclusive, but at the same time, they want to accommodate their specific communities.

This year's celebration of the Jewish holiday of Purim, which commemorates the Jews surviving possible annihilation in ancient Persia, tested the leaders on this challenge. At a campus-wide party, the rules must fit everyone's needs. For Purim, the concerns included the issue of co-ed dancing, which BUCO and BaRuCH are fine with, but BOO is not.

Despite hours of inter-group planning, Posner insists that the communication between leaders of Jewish groups proves that, in this case, a significant disparity exists between perception and reality. The planning for the Purim celebration, where the three denominational boards worked together, he says, illustrates this.

"If people were privy to that conversation [about planning for Purim] ... instead of people just seeing the final product, which is the mixed [coed] dancing getting pushed up into the balcony, they would be able to see the genuine struggle people had with their religious identity to try to come up with the best alternative for everybody involved," Posner said.

And while the leaders all say they get along and respect each other, last year was a trying experience.

"Now we just need to move past that point where we sit in a room and yell at each for three hours to throw a Purim party, which is what we had to do last year," Apfelbaum said.



Are the groups exclusive?

Loubaton recognizes that the Orthodox community at Brandeis is larger than its Reform or Conservative counterparts. For her, this means constantly countering negative stereotypes against Orthodox Jews at Brandeis.

"People look at the Orthodox community and stare," Loubaton said. "But that's just because [Orthodoxy] is the most visible and therefore it's the easiest to pick out of the crowd ... I've tried my hardest ... to dispel any preconceived notions or harsh sentiments that people are feeling against the Orthodox community, that we're too big and too domineering."

One junior, who preferred to remain anonymous, said he used to be a part of BOO and felt that the organization was too self-contained.

"I thought that [BOO] was incredibly exclusive," he said. "I just felt like everything was too sheltered and I wasn't enjoying myself. I didn't feel that welcome by a lot of the people involved."

He said many of his friends felt similarly, especially at Shabbat dinners.

"My friends were very overwhelmed by a massive room of 500 Jewish kids all praying and chanting together and I can totally understand why they'd feel that way," he said.

He estimated that half the Jews on campus feel the same as he does about BOO. His current suitemates, who do not affiliate with any of the branches, also feel that there is no place for them to be Jewish on this campus.

He had attended a modern Orthodox Yeshiva high school and an even more religious primary school. When he first arrived at Brandeis, he went to services every Friday night and often Saturday mornings as well. He wore tefillin, leather cubes containing scriptural text worn during prayer, and kept a strict kosher diet. Yet, now in his third year at Brandeis, he has stopped participating in everything Jewish at Brandeis.

Bravve also spoke to these barriers, but said she doesn't mind them. As a self-proclaimed secular Jew, Bravve said she thinks perhaps the more observant Jews on campus might not accept her because they may not consider her "Jewish enough."

"It doesn't bother me because I'm so disconnected from the whole Judaism thing that I don't really care," she said.

Bravve said she considers herself Jewish, classifying it as an ethnic background. At Brandeis, she said, students need to be fairly religious to be involved in the Jewish community. She added that she might be more active at a different school with a smaller, tighter Jewish community.



Is there room for 'occasional Jews'?

"I just go to Yom Kippur right now. I went to Shabbos dinner once last year and then I didn't do it again," David Weiss '07 said. "Unless I have a friend with me, it's not very much fun because I feel awkward."

This was not how Weiss had envisioned his Jewish life at Brandeis. He attended Jewish overnight camp for years and even wore a yarmulke his senior year of high school.

"It was really important for me to choose a college with a strong Jewish community. I thought I would be an 'occasional Jew' when I came to college, maybe once a month [I would] go to Hillel," he said.

He has found this middle ground difficult to achieve. "It's hard to be involved on an occasional basis; you're either in it or you're not," he said.



It's Not Brandeis, it's me

The junior who was formerly active in BOO said he was fascinated by a speaker last year who converted from Judaism to Buddhism. He wished there more events on campus that "questioned religion."

It seems that perhaps this is not a problem with BOO, as he originally implied, but one with Judaism itself.

For him, as well as Posner and other Jews who feel dislocated on campus, the religious doubts may not be specific to Brandeis.

The questioning student said he has not tried any other religions since his move away from Judaism. He also has not tried any other Jewish settings, such as an off-campus synagogue.

"Right now, I'm sort of trying a new approach where I'm trying to be as secular as possible," he said. "At the end of this year, I'd like to look back on it and see how comfortable it made me, or how uncomfortable it made me, to see where I fit religiously."

Arbesman said he practices similarly to Orthodox Judaism, but theological differences stop him from identifying wholly with the movement.

"If you looked at me from far away, you'd think that I was an Orthodox guy, plain and simple, but at the same time if you got to know me even a little bit, you'd see that I wouldn't fall into that cookie-cutter mold," he said.

Posner said that many students are unsure about their religious identity because they do not like to be "boxed in." He is not sure if this is unique to Brandeis or if it is simply because college is a time for self-exploration.



Hillel, addressing these concerns

Rabbi Lehmann said students need to work to adapt to Brandeis, even it seems overwhelming.

Coming from the University of New Mexico, Linver said he felt overwhelmed at first. His job is to be accessible to students, to show them the different ways to be involved in a Jewish way on campus. He added that said events should also be geared toward non-Jewish students to show that the Jewish community is not a private club.

According to Spungin, Hillel administrators try to talk to students who are feeling excluded personally and help these students feel that a space exists for them. Hillel just created new staff positions-including Sternberg's-to combat the challenges on campus.

Posner said unity is an ever-evolving goal for Jews at Brandeis. He did note definite progress in the past three years.

Apfelbaum said that BaRuCH, BUCO and BOO are trying to establish a regular meeting time to discuss obstacles in bringing the three denominations together. "The more [intra]-Hillel programming we have, the better," she said.

Levine thinks Hillel needs to promote more educational interaction between the groups, but realizes that it's difficult to find all-encompassing topics. As Hillel's religious life coordinator, Arbesman said he has made some new prayer services available to meet student requests.



What's working

Swirls of dancing and singing bodies engulfed Yakus Plaza the night of Thursday, Oct. 7 for the Jewish holiday Simchat Torah. A festival signaling the completion of one year's Torah reading and the start of the next year's, Simchat Torah brought Brandeis Jews together.

Single-sex dancing took place inside Levin Ballroom, while mixed dancing spilled outside. As they chanted at the top of their lungs and grabbed random strangers' hands, many students seemed to welcome the break from academics to let loose and celebrate Judaism.

"I really think it's very important that people understand that the basic energy on campus among individuals is phenomenal ... It's not something the staff can create on their own, it's unbelievably linked to the energy that students bring to it," Sternberg said.

Then there are those students who are completely happy with the Jewish community here. Silverman has been here less than two months, but so far, she is impressed.

"There [are] so many ways to get involved ... there's something for everybody, basically," she said. "So I think that's pretty amazing."

Despite certain qualms, Arbesman too said he is pleased with the Jewish community at Brandeis. "I think it's moving in a direction that's very positive," he said, "that's very committed to understanding each other's beliefs."

Now, he said, "the major problem is that we have so much going on. Which is not a problem at all; it's just an issue, a difficulty, a challenge.

Still, as the Jewish community strives to improve, many wonder how much progress is possible and how much tension remains ingrained in a school with so much room for Jewish diversity.