"First and foremost, remain calm."Most typically found in fire safety instructions or in the echo of airplane emergency landing procedures, this phrase is applied to an entirely different context in the Brandeis setting.

When such words are found under University letterhead, signed and sealed by the Department of Residence Life, they are a clear indication of impending housing trauma. The Brandeis housing lottery has established its place among the most serious of panic-inducing affairs.

After the initial scramble for the mailroom and ceremonial opening of those ubiquitous white letters, a domino effect begins to jeopardize the otherwise stable relations of Brandeis students. A good number does not guarantee pain-free housing, for the complexities of the pulling and choosing process can create tension and stress among the closest of friends.

"There is no need to lose friendships over the housing lotto. We try to avoid that," Castle Quad Director Lyndsay Agnas said. Although scenarios range from every extreme, Agnas said that she and the department recognize the strain that the housing process puts on students.

What most students don't initially realize is that a "17" or "1025" may not be the blessing it appears to be. Brandeis students cite an overwhelming amount of cases in which housing selection has caused rifts in friendships and increased stress on a personal and community level.



The power of the "pull"

"We had some tears and some I'm-never-going-to-speak-to-you-against. Feelings were hurt," Lauren Abramowitz '07 said. Abramowitz received number 9 in the lotto, and pulled seven of her friends into a Rosenthal. Limited space ensures that even a good number cannot accommodate a whole group of friends. Someone is bound to feel abandoned.

From random acquaintances hinting at housing needs to monetary or baked bribes, Abramowitz was so distracted and distressed by the pressure of having a good number that she was having problems doing her work. After things were settled, she felt a burden lifted from her shoulders.

"There is still a little tension in the air that I hope will clear," she said.

Problems can start before lotto numbers are even distributed, through Survivor-style contracts and promises. Although this can be the key to securing ideal housing, "people need to be really careful about negotiating things and making promises. Making strict promises is when people feel betrayed," Agnas said.

"Loyalty to friends is more important then ideal housing. I don't think people prioritize that," Aaron Riskin '06 said.

And some people don't have much of a choice.

"I had to end up stabbing people in the back and I didn't want to," Rebecca Weinerman '05 said. Last year, after Weinerman's number landed her a four-person Ridgewood instead of a six-person Ziv suite, she was faced with silent treatment and anger from some friends. Eventually, it all worked out, but the process was laced with stress. "It was a big mess," she recalled.

A common problem faced by students is the unpredictable nature of the lottery. Students must adjust the amount of people they pull in dependent on the capacity of the available suites-which is unknown until the very minute of housing selection. Especially with borderline numbers, it is difficult to anticipate what you can actually earn with your housing number.

"You have to be open to what happens, and know you can't anticipate it," Agnas said.

Students like Weinerman note that you have to be prepared for everything. This includes having backup people in case only higher occupancy suites are available, or ensuring an understanding beforehand that some people may not be included in a suite if the only available housing is for lower occupancies-essentially, "planning who to kick out."

Determining an "expendable" or "back up" party becomes an inflated issue of identifying the better friend, when it may truly be an issue of lifestyle differences or the complete inability to accommodate everyone. Ranking friends-even when it is the result of logistical necessity-is a sensitive topic.

"Many of us left behind the phrase 'best friend' in high school lingo. It is sad that the concept is resurrected in such seemingly simple issues as deciding where to live," Jane Partensky '06 said.

Still, some say that the process need not invoke the trauma that it does.

"It's much more hyped then it really is," Phil Selesneck '05 said.



Love nest?

With the growing pressure to get pulled in or get nothing, some students with boyfriends or girlfriends plan to live together in the same suite. This can potentially create strain on the relationship. In the case of a break-up, related to the living situation or not, a sense of awkwardness and discomfort is bound to exist.

"The quickest way to end a relationship is to live with your significant other. That may not be the departmental viewpoint, but it's a serious decision with far-reaching consequences. I don't recommend it," Agnas said.

Sarah Dushey '06, who plans on living with her boyfriend Marc Narotsky '06 next year in a four-person Ridgewood, admits that this may not be the best decision. But with lotto number 2130, she doesn't have many other options.

"You spend so much time with them, [but] you don't want to come home to them also," Dushey said. "I'm just going to make a really conscious effort to spend time with other people and create my own space and time."

"There is a difference between it being your only option and your best option," Brian Schon '06 said. He is currently living in the same Rosenthal suite as his girlfriend. "It's been a roller coaster ride for me. It can make things difficult, but it's not the definitive catalyst. If it's a good relationship, it shouldn't be a problem."

Other suitemates may also be influenced by the dynamic. "You are living with a whole group of people who will be unjustly and unfairly thrown into the situation if you are in a fight," Schon said.

Adam Marks '06 will be living with his girlfriend Kim Cohen '06 next year, and said that some friends that planned to live with them backed out because of fears of living with a couple.

"I think we will be able to coexist well. If something happens, like a break-up, we will cross that bridge when we get there," Marks said. He added that the situation should really be considered on a case-by-case basis. Although he feels his friendship and communication with Cohen will ensure a stable living situation, he admits this may not be the case with all couples.



"Living in a cardboard box on South Street..."

"Before the lotto numbers came out, I was worried about who I was going to live with in a suite, am I going to isolate friends? Once I got the number, the issue was how I was supposed to live on campus," Zoe Lieberman '06 said. "A lot of people's outlook changes when they realize it's a matter of housing or no housing."

Although a lot of stress for sophomores and juniors comes from the fear of not getting housing at all-as opposed to first-years' concerns of placement-Agnas suggests that a bulk of the stress is not over getting housing, but rather from getting the most desired or appropriate situation. "As human beings we get locked into ideas of this is what I need to be happy. If this is not what we get, then we are unhappy," Agnas said.

In her observations, she added, some students are very laid back and trust that they will receive adequate housing. It is important not to take the selection process too personally.

"If you go on the waitlist and want to live on campus, you will get housing. We are interested in making as many people happy as possible," Agnas. "We are trying to keep it so the process is not a nightmare for everyone, because it doesn't have to be.