"Hi! It's Jamie, from the Justice." This chirpy statement was the beginning of the majority of my phone conversations this year. Sad, but true. Like "Jenny from the block," over the course of the year I morphed from Jamie Freed, normal Brandeis senior, to "Jamie from the Justice."My college career didn't start out this way. I was Jamie from California or Jamie from Reitman/Rosenthal/Ziv/the Mods. If that wasn't descriptive enough, I was also Jamie, the short Jewish girl with brown hair. At one point, I was Jamie from Boris' Kitchen. Or perhaps, to you, I was simply Jamie, that really obnoxious girl in one of your classes.

But after spending 40 hours per week inside the Shapiro Center (fortunately less green than the outside), I somehow became "Jamie from the Justice." It was a slow transition. It actually began last March, when I unadvisedly took the position of forum editor, despite being a junior who was taking five classes, acting in one show and producing another.

By November, I became the paper's interim news editor, also known as the Union Senate whipping-girl. Eventually, I returned to the forum section, content with writing egotistical, tasteless columns about decidedly trivial issues.

Dropping the self-deprecating sarcasm for a moment, I did learn a lot this year -- about journalism and about life. Staying at the Justice office one night per week - often until 9 a.m. - taught me some valuable lessons that could not be otherwise gained from within the hallowed halls of Rabb. And for my final column, I've decided to share some of this so-called wisdom.

I've learned - to my great dismay - that no matter how hard you try, perfection is often regrettably unattainable. Nobody's perfect, and therefore neither are the newspapers people produce, including the Justice. But I did learn that if you do put in a strong effort, it almost always pays off.

Did I expect that an eyewitness to university shootings in Melbourne, Australia would actually answer my e-mail requesting an interview? No, of course not. But did this professor get back to me almost immediately and greatly improve my story on campus shootings? Surprisingly, yes.

Cold-calling suspected drug users for an article about opium use on campus was another daring proposition. Even without printing names, I didn't know if people would speak to me or not. And some didn't. I honestly don't know if I would have spoken to a reporter if faced with the same difficult questions. But I kept trying, and in the end - due to the assistance of those willing to speak out about the issue - the story was printed.

Through my approximately 50 articles this year, I've received a wide range of comments from students, faculty and administrators. Some have been friendly, funny remarks about my "fluffy" columns on Googling or saying hi to people on campus. Others have been extremely negative, wondering why I would dare write a news article about the Israeli divestment debate not being discussed at Brandeis.

I could never publicly address such concerns while I was actively editing the newspaper, but I will now. I wrote about divestment because every other major university was discussing the issue, and I, for one, wanted to know why Brandeis was not. I wrote about Brandeis cutting its NPR advertisements because it was a political stance the University took without informing the students whom the administration represents. I wrote about Provost Bernstein's departure because while the University made a general announcement, the entire campus was left confused by his sudden leave. I wrote about the bomb threats on campus because classes were displaced and police would not tell students more than the fact that a threat had been made.

I wrote to inform the community of the actions occurring in our midst. Perhaps I am more curious than most, leading to my interest in journalism. But I wanted to know what goes on behind the scenes at Brandeis, and I wished for everyone else to have access to this information as well. That is why I have chosen to be a reporter, both at Brandeis and beyond, after I graduate from Northwestern's journalism school next year.

Certainly, being utterly associated with a single activity did have its disadvantages -- I could often not escape the flurry of e-mail and voicemail from students, faculty and administrators wanting just one more event covered or one extra photo to appear in the paper, no matter how hard I tried.

Yet despite the stress-induced weight loss and late-night hits of Red Bull, being "Jamie from the Justice" was worth the hard work. Yes, it overwhelmed my social, academic and extracurricular career. But I also found my niche at Brandeis in the process, after three years of trying.

Take a hint from this: Even if you have just completed your junior year, you still have time. If you feel you don't quite fit in, take a chance on a new activity or course of study. If I hadn't, I'd be attending law school this fall like so many other undecided students in this gloomy economy.

Instead, I'm happily pursuing journalism. And to quote from my new namesake, Jennifer Lopez: "(I) used to have a little - now I have a lot."

- Jamie Freed '03 has submitted her final column to the Justice.