Dear Rachel,I have a crush on this guy but I don't know if he's gay. I have these wishful theories that the "straightest" guys are hiding their true gay selves- and this boy is apparently as "straight as an arrow". I'm afraid that if I reveal my true feelings for him before graduation the situation could get ugly. I know that guys can be self-conscious about their masculinity but I do have reason to believe that there might be an ounce of hope. Should I make a move and play the "one-in-ten" odds?

- Betting on Boy



Dear Betting,

Let me first advise you that not all masculine guys are hiding their "true gay selves." However, according the statistics, you're right: One in ten men are gay. So, the question rests as to whether you're bold enough to make a move. If you are, it now depends on what you mean by "reveal (your) true feelings" . If you're debating on whether to approach him and ask him out: Why not?

Let's remove ourselves from the details: You like someone. You don't know if he's attracted to you. Put your sexuality aside and think clearly. There lies a two-case scenario. Case one: You ask him out, he says no - he's either straight or gay, but not interested. Should he be straight, don't be embarrassed; if it's flattering to be found attractive by one sex, it's doubly flattering to be considered attractive by both!

Case two: He says yes. No further explanation is necessary. Whatever the odds, it's really your decision to make. You should only approach him if you feel comfortable and confident. Keep in mind, there are narrow-minded people in this world. Just know that not everyone can handle every situation maturely.



Dear Rachel,

As someone who is graduating this year and in a relationship, you probably know how hard it is to think about the future.

My question to you, Rachel, is what do you advise all our graduating classmates who are in a relationship and have doubts and fears about next year?

-Fearing the Future



Dear Fearing,

One thing I have learned in my three years of college is energy should not be wasted with nervousness or fear. Both simply act to impede upon the greater things in life. You are in a relationship, and you are happy, no? If you are, continue. I admit sometimes life isn't easy, but everything is worth a try, especially with regards to love.

As long as you are both happy, there is no need to fear. The worse thing that can happen by separating two people who care for each other is a hefty phone bill and tears. Who knows what the future has in store for you. You should remain in the relationship until you face a true issue: dishonesty, disinterest, etc. Remember that support, love and advice can travel great distances. But you'll never know unless you try.



Rachel's advice to underclassmen:



Not long ago there was a song addressed to students with advice for their future. I remember it began with, "wear sunscreen." I'm going to begin the same way, not out of unoriginality, but because it's good advice. Forget just protecting the skin (which as a future dermatologist I must say is the cardinal rule of beauty), but its underlying rationale lies in taking care of one's self. So, that said, I begin with my advice: Above all, take care of yourself.

Of the many letters I received over this past year, a majority requested advice for relationships. It is necessary that you respect yourself in each relationship and in every interaction with others. Do things that make you happy today, while questioning whether it will make you happy tomorrow. Don't depend on others to instill confidence and worth in you.

I know that while many hear this advice, few will live by it. Remember the words of Oscar Wilde: "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." It's valuable to have many experiences while at Brandeis.

Now upon the topic of Brandeis, let me expand. I have heard from many people of their unhappiness with their university. Nothing is worse than disliking your surroundings. Try to love your school. There are many things and people to love. Get as involved as you can; become a leader and improve your university.

There's too much I learned from college to express in such a small space. Take your four years and use them as best you can. Make friendships and memories that will last. This includes friendships with your professors and memories you made on your own. I love Brandeis because I learned to love it. I found friends and held tight to ones I knew were treasures. College is incredible. If you take good care of yourself, you'll appreciate it even more.

Thank you to those members of Mod 18, 30, and the Persian Culture Club who made my life so wonderful. You all affected my life in the deepest way and helped to make me who I am today.

-Rachel Nazarian'03 submitted a column to the Justice