These letters have all been sent in by actual Brandeis students. Their names have been changed to protect their anonymity. The advice given out in this column is solely the opinion of Rachel Nazarian '03, the Justice's advice guru. Please use this advice at your own risk -- the Justice is not to be held liable for any positive or negative consequences of your decisions. If you are interested in obtaining advice from Rachel, to be printed in a future issue, e-mail her your problem at nazarian@brandeis.edu.

Dear Rachel:

I hear so much talk about the impending war, and I'm confused -- I know a lot of students who are anti-war. On the other hand, I am very concerned about where this world is headed if we don't stop tyrants like Saddam Hussein, who can cause disasters that make 9/11 look tiny in comparison. How do I balance my concern for innocent civilians with the overwhelming need to have the United States, the only superpower, confront this war on terror head on?

-- "Worried over War"



Dear "Worried:"

I'm sure you've heard that knowledge is power. As with anything else, the more you know, the better off you'll be. Before you take your place at an anti-war rally, do some research. Only after you've learned about the situation, and understood all the options available, can you make a clear decision about where you stand regarding war.

You need to ensure yourself that war is justified (or not) before you can be comfortable with the decision. So, let's say you find the reasoning behind declaring war is poor. Then, do your part and try to inform other people. Conversely, let's say you support war, or understand the underlying need for it in this case. How do you balance your concern for innocent civilians? By taking action.

You can concurrently understand the decision of war and the destructiveness of it. Look up foundations such as Hope Builders International or The Campaign on Conscience. This may help reassure you that you're doing as much as you can to decrease the collateral damage of an inevitable situation.

-- Rachel



Dear Rachel:

I just found out a so-called good friend is throwing herself a birthday party. The surprise? She didn't invite me. We talk a lot, meet up for lunch sometimes, and I always thought we were close friends. Although lately we haven't been as close as in the past, shouldn't she have some sort of obligation or desire to have me at her party?

-- "Perturbed over Party"



Dear "Perturbed:"

Actually, she can invite, or not invite, whomever she wants. Maybe she has some sort of limit on the number of people she can invite? Maybe not. The harsh reality could be she doesn't want you at her party.

There's really no way of knowing her reasoning. Yet, you can be the bigger person in this situation. Have some respect for the friendship you described to me and send her a birthday card. That's one way of acknowledging what a good friend you're being, and how you're choosing to remember her birthday, with or without an invite to her party.

For future thought, I'd hate for you to stay in an unbalanced relationship. So remember this incident when it's time for you to throw a party.

-- Rachel



Dear Rachel:

I didn't call back one of my friends. She called one night, and I was extremely tired, so I waited until the next day to call her back. Even though I thought this was perfectly reasonable, she's mad. Was I "not being a good friend" as she claims? I do a lot for her, and I think this is kind of ridiculous. What do you think?

-- "Confused about Call"



Dear "Confused:"

Actually, this isn't a tough call (no pun intended). If she made no clear indication that it was an urgent call requiring your immediate response, there's no reason she should be upset. You're not a mind reader.

Many people call to catch up, or chitchat, and I know as hardworking college students we may not always have the time to spare. If you were tired and it was late, waiting until the next morning to return a non-emergency call is completely acceptable.

-- Rachel



Humorous Letter of the Week:



Dear Rachel:

I really like my girlfriend; she is just the best. Nevertheless, she snores, and this sometimes disturbs my sleep. What should I do? Should I seek medical help for her, or should I try to sleep with earplugs?

-- "Sleeping Unsoundly"



Dear "Sleeping:"

What a predicament. My honest answer? Don't tell your girlfriend. Did you really think she would seek medical help? I didn't think so.

Buy yourself some earplugs, and consider yourself lucky to even sleep next her. The option is always open for you to get your own bed, and consequently, sleep alone. In that case, no one would be snoring, right?

-- Rachel