Lately, as a senior on campus, I've begun to feel old.Of course, at 21, I am now chronologically older than the majority of students at Brandeis. Sometimes, though, I feel like it's more than a simple age gap -- it's a generation gap.

When I am sitting in class and am one of only a few people who can remember when Reagan was president or the Challenger exploded or watching movies on BetaMax or working on an Apple IIe, it can be pretty disturbing.

When I am in the car and happy to listen to the same music as my parents: The Beatles, Led Zeppelin and Duran Duran, and my 16-year-old sister wonders which band is singing "I Want to Hold Your Hand"on the CD player, I feel even older.

When I remember seeing "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" (1986) at a drive-in when I was five years old, the scene with the car tumbling through the glass forever etched in my memory, and my sister thinks "10 Things I Hate About You"(1999) is a classic teen movie, I feel ancient.

I think there is a method to my misery though. I was born in 1981, the year MTV went on the air and the space shuttle Columbia first entered the atmosphere. According to many sources, 1981 is also the last year that members of Generation X were born (others put the date much earlier, at 1976).

It makes sense that I would identify more with Generation X than Generation Y. When I was growing up, I was the oldest child in my family. I had skipped a grade and went to school with kids a year or two older than I. My biggest role models were my cousins, all seven to 13 years my senior and proud members of the so-called slacker (or earlier, Valley Girl) generation.

Even being on the cusp of the two generations, I feel the difference. Some people my age may have sided with the more helpful, volunteeristic Generation Y, while I chose the jaded cynicism of Generation X. My defining bands -- the ones I still listen to now and suspect I always will -- are ones I listened to around 1994: Nirvana, Weezer, Green Day, Oasis, Blur, the Smashing Pumpkins. Not the Eminems, Limp Bizkits or Britneys of late.

In "Reality Bites," perhaps the quintessential cinematic portrayal of Generation X life, Ethan Hawke's character says, "This is all we need. A couple of smokes, a cup of coffee and a little bit of conversation. You and me and five bucks."

Perhaps smoking isn't very healthy and a pack of cigs alone will run you over five bucks now, not to mention the coffee. But, this simplistic entertainment seems to be in stark contrast to Generation Y, for whom it seems all one needs is a cell phone, a portable DVD player and an Internet connection. Why even bother with a conversation?

Generation X has been portrayed as incredibly cynical by the media. But, this skepticism grew in part out of the horrendous recession of the early '90s, when the last Bush was president and the last war with Iraq was raging. It was also a reaction to the overly-materialistic 1980s, and of growing up as the first major generation of latch-key children. Later, it was about having a "cool" President Clinton in office, who admitted to smoking marijuana, if not inhaling, and had a relationship with a Gen X-intern. "I am not under any orders to make the world a better place," is another famous quote from "Reality Bites." What an incredibly selfish, but typically Generation X viewpoint.

Alternatively, Generation Y is seen as a generation that is actively trying to improve the world. Which is great. But, this is probably also a backlash, countering the cynicism of their Generation X counterparts and returning to the more traditional patriotic and religious values of the new, improved George W. Bush. September 11th played a big part in this; it is most likely the defining moment of Generation Y, just as Vietnam was for the counter-culture Baby Boomers. Generation X, on the other hand, seems to be distinct for its very lack of definition.

Of course, any talk of defining generations simply generalizes the issue. Clearly, some members of Generation Y are incredibly cynical, just as some members of Generation X are very patriotic. An exact cut-off year, such as 1981, does not really mean anything. It is more about the popular culture with which you identify. And, I associate my formative years with My Little Pony, Cabbage Patch Kids, the Brat Pack, Converse and flannel shirts.

If that makes me seem old and dated to the new generation of Brandeis students, so be it.

-- Jamie Freed '03 submits a column to the Justice.