It is not often that one encounters a room filled to its capacity with vibrant students, excited middle-aged people and curious elderly. It is not common to see an audience comprised of a mixture of racial, sexual and religious identities all conversing with one another. It is not every day that there is a screening of an extremely controversial film that spurs over an hour of questions and comments from the audience afterwards. Yet, this did happen, at our own university, on Thursday at 7:30 p.m. in Wasserman Cinemateque, with the showing of "Trembling Before G-d," a documentary that depicts the lives of homosexual Orthodox and Hasidic Jews.Released in October of 2001, this documentary, directed by Sandi Simcha Dubowski, is a powerful and poignant account of the struggles that gays and lesbians living in ultra-religious communities endure. Brought up in tight-knit, insulated neighborhoods where one is expected to abide by the Torah's teachings and dedicate one's life to God, it is a terrible burden to feel different and be condemned to lead an existence of lies and guilt. In the Torah, the official doctrine of Orthodox philosophies, there are passages seemingly against homosexual behaviors, passages which cause much pain and distress upon people who identify with a gay or lesbian lifestyle, but still want to be observant Jews.

"Trembling Before G-d" is a thought-provoking film because it portrays many different aspects of this bewildering, problematic subject. There are heart-wrenching interviews with gay and lesbian individuals who have been disowned by their families and shunned from their Jewish communities. There are also clips from Orthodox rabbis giving their opinions on the situation, some stressing the sadness they felt for these tortured souls, but adamant that the only way one can be accepted as a real practicing Jew is to go to therapy to attempt to change one's homosexual behaviors. There are also visions of delicious Jewish food, happy children frolicking outside their synagogues and families getting ready to light the Sabbath candles. Sounds of beautiful, rich Jewish music accompany these scenes.

But, interspersed are the despondent stories of the homosexuals that are thrust out from these lives of which they so long to be a part of. One man touchingly states about his struggle, "I want a relationship with Hashem (God), including this part of my being."
After the screening, there were two panelists. One was Michelle Miller, who was in the film. She is a lesbian who was raised in a Hasidic household and abandoned by her family. The other was Dr. Marc Kramer '92, a Brandeis alumnus and the National Outreach Coordinator for the film. They held a forum where the audience could ask questions and discuss what they were feeling and thinking.

This set up a wonderful dialogue in which everyone had a chance to discuss various topics such as interpretations of the Torah, life as a homosexual Jew at Brandeis and outside, confusions about Orthodox rules and ways to reach out and educate others on this serious and pertinent issue. Kramer made it clear that he had faith that the Orthodox and Hasidic communities would eventually accept homosexuals, but it would take a lot of work. Bringing tears to many of the audience's eyes, he said, "When you meet an individual, you can't demonize and dehumanize them. You have to love and help - that is what being Jewish is all about."

The event was sponsored by Hillel, Shalem, the Brandeis Orthodox Organization, the National Center for Jewish Film, the Women's Studies Program, the Alumni Association and Triskelion, with grants from Hewlett Pluralism Initiative and Hillel Student Projects of Greater Boston. The night was filled with laughter and tears, but most of all compassion and togetherness, with hope for a place for all in the Jewish faith.