After 18 years in Memphis, Tenn., I had finally made it. It was my first day at Brandeis University and Orientation had officially begun. I expected the week to consist of programming that would ease my transition from my previous world to my current one. 

However, when I found myself sitting in a small group of strangers, being forced to play “Move Your Butt” and other icebreaker games, I began to realize that perhaps my expectations were too high. But who can blame me for having impossible expectations?

You see, I’ve been misled. Like many of my peers, I’ve been told innumerable times that college would be the best four years of my life, that every second of it will be exciting, transformative and memorable. Movies like Animal House, Van Wilder and Old School, and songs like Asher Roth’s hit “I Love College” have created an idealistic notion of the undergraduate experience. 

Beyond popular culture, the vast majority of graduates I’ve come across have guaranteed, with only a few exceptions, that college would be “the best four years of my life.” 

We’ve all been injected with the idea that college is to be spent playing Frisbee with newfound best friends all day, getting hammered, hooking up until the break of dawn and sleeping until the late afternoon. 

Considering the overwhelmingly positive depiction of college life I’ve seen in the media and heard in stories from graduates, I expected every moment of my experience to be smooth and enjoyable, with few conflicts. But now, with two weeks of undergrad experience and several sleepless nights under my belt, I feel justified in saying that those who solely glorify college do a great disservice to incoming first-years.

By propagating the fallacy that college must be all fun all the time, the media has raised expectations of the college experience to impossible heights. These inaccurate depictions have created overwhelming pressure to seek out a constant euphoria, as students often run from one party to the next, trying desperately to attain the impossible, idealistic college experience seen in popular culture. This sometimes comes at the expense of mental health. It has certainly led first-years to resist acknowledging the stress, anxiety and fear that inevitably come with moving to an entirely new environment. I, along with friends who were brave enough to confide their struggles in me, have at times felt foolish for expressing our worries about fitting in, feeling comfortable and finding genuine relationships. 

We’ve felt alienated for struggling to relate to fellow first-years, failing to instantly make the connections that we see in movies and hear of from graduates. It’s of course impossible to forge a lifelong friendship in a few weeks, but we feel we’re expected to. Though logically we know that our struggles are normal, the aforementioned media image of college culture made it difficult for us to be comfortable both feeling and expressing any anxiety. 

Brandeis is well aware of the inaccuracies in the popular culture depiction of college, and yet they failed to address those inaccuracies. Instead, perhaps in an effort to bolster its reputation and consequently strike a profit, Brandeis Orientation, in line with the media depictions, tried to make college seem like a utopia, ignoring the unavoidable reality that it’s often extremely difficult and anxiety-inducing. By failing to adequately acknowledge the struggles that comes with freshman year, Brandeis is assisting in the propagation of the wildly idealistic view of the college experience. That false notion of college was created by pop culture, but real universities aren’t doing enough to halt its spread, Brandeis included. 

Though Orientation schedules didn’t include partying, hooking up and sleeping in, they did further the false perception of college being all fun all the time by placing such a large emphasis on childish activities. In doing so, the Orientation core committee effectively ignored reality and failed to ease the transition from high school to college. 

There are several reasons for feeling this way: first, many of us first-years now consider ourselves adults, and wish to be treated as such. However, several students I spoke to throughout Orientation shared a sentiment that they felt as though they were being treated like children at a sleep-away camp, playing silly games and performing meaningless “bonding exercises.” Of course, leisure activities and silly games shouldn’t entirely disappear with age. But we first-years would benefit more from spending time participating in more mature activities, perhaps discussion groups aimed at facilitating deeper conversation along with a few silly ice-breaker games.  It would be beneficial to center some of those potential deep discussions around the issue of anxiety and discomfort. 

Second, the action-packed schedule that Orientation forces on first-years leaves us with little time to make friends naturally. By trying to forcibly create the friendships seen in the movies, Orientation furthered the absurd notion that creating close bonds is easy, and perhaps left those who felt disconnected from their Orientation groups feeling alien. 

Finally, the clearly forced excitement of Orientation Leaders only intensified the pressure to try (and inevitably fail) to enjoy each second of the beginning of our college journeys. That abnormal excitement inadvertently pushed myself, and perhaps others, to feel guilty for not sharing in it. 

Each of these Orientation flaws led to the propagation of the myth that college is a uto-pia, which seemed to be the goal of the University. After all, who wouldn’t want their school to seem fun and exciting? It’s not sexy to talk about fear and anxiety. By ignoring them, though, the Orientation Core Committee only made them worse. I believe next year’s incoming class would greatly benefit from less childish games, more leisure time that would likely lead to more naturally formed friendships and an environment that confronts the reality that this phase of college is hard. 

And so, to my fellow struggling first-years: you are not alien. You are not alone. You don’t need to erect and maintain a facade of absolute happiness in a time that inevitably breeds fear and anxiety. It’s time to create an environment in which the expression of insecurity is not only welcomed, but encouraged. It’s time to stop propagating the fallacy that college is a movie-like utopia.